What the Flip Is Freedom?

Freedom. It seems like we know what it means.

Ditto with independence.

But did you decide on your definitions or were they fed to you like so many burgers and dogs? NOTE: This is not a leading question, and I am not throwing lazy anti-establishment shade at the USA on Independence Day.

Linda.

I’m a word-nerd. I like words with multiple meanings, and I even enjoy tracking how meanings change, and when, and in which contexts. What I don’t dig is when I assume I know what a word means and how to use it, when it’s not actually clear.

When we use words that are defined for us by someone else, without clarifying what they mean to ourselves, stuff can get pretty messy. The problem is that even if the meaning of a word is hijacked, the word doesn’t lose its power. It retains the original power and adds another, often distorted, dimension to it. This distortion seems innocuous but carries concealed toxicity.

The real trouble hits when the word is used. We use language to express ourselves. But when we express ourselves with someone else’s idea, without knowing that we’re doing so, the storedpoison proliferates, even if it remains undetected. If this goes on for a long time, it’s possible for the poison to spread in ways we can’t imagine, until all of a sudden it’s leached into the earth, air and water and people start dying. Words can actually cost lives. 

Today is the day the US was born. It’s a birthday! And birthdays are complicated. I wonder if America is nervous that people won’t show up to her party? Or if she feels guilty for being born? Or if she is gonna get inappropriately wasted? Does America get birthday sex?

We are celebrating her Birth and her freedom! Independence! From the British! Right? Is that what we’re doing today? Or are we celebrating something else?

Again, I have no horse in this race. I am grateful for what I have. I love the US because I was born here, and I think we’re born where we’re born for a bunch of good karmic reasons. By karmic I don’t mean to imply that we are born where we deserve to be born because we did well or screwed up. I mean that our birth place is part of a huge set of given circumstances that make up the foundation of what we’re working with in this life: what we have, what we don’t, what we have to overcome, what we use to learn.

Mostly I love the US because I am aware that the freedoms we take for granted here are inconceivable in so many parts of the world. I may have been taught definitions for freedom and independence, but I was eventually able come to my own conclusions about the meaning of the words. The very fact that I can write a post about freedom, today, without someone stopping me is proof of the freedom I have that so many do not. That has to be honored.

All I want to offer here is how I’m thinking about freedom today, and hopefully to get you thinking about freedom as well.

Naomi.

What does it mean to be free? Is it about escaping tyranny? Then you’re free?

Is it about overthrowing your oppressors? Conquering? Then you’re free?

I argue that if your freedom requires you to retreat or attack, it’s not really freedom.

True freedom, as I see it, cannot be relative to anything. It must be inherent, unconditional, unaffiliated. It must be able to stand alone. Otherwise how can it be free?

If you have to attack, that’s not freedom because you are being compelled to engage something. If you have to rebel, that’s not freedom because you are still rebelling against something.

There may be plenty of reasons to fight for freedom (like WWII) or surrender for freedom (like Gandhi), but these reasons are not freedom in themselves. They are actions taken on behalf of freedom, or in the name of freedom. They are actions that use the idea of freedom as a justification.

This is the equivalent of using a word that you don't know the exact meaning of. It's probably fine at first, until, little by little, it's not fine anymore. Not at all.

Christy.

The good news is, there's a little space inside of us all that is always free. I might argue this is the only space inside of us that matters. It is some part of us, somewhere within us, that is totally unconditioned and unaffiliated; that is pure, that is clear, that is free.

It might be the quietest place within you, or the stillest. It might be the loudest, or the freakiest. But it's there. You'll know it when you encounter it because it feels like you. It is enough. It works. It makes you feel fantastic.

And most importantly it doesn't require you to DO anything. It needs no step forward or step back, no attack or retreat. It is still, and in it's stillness it is untethered, unfettered, unlimited.

You are unlimited.

And yet, the shitstorms keep raining. Awesome. What then?

When I was a kid I was chubby, and I was really good at floating. Like the best. I didn't like running or jumping or pretty much any sports. I tolerated swimming because I liked the water. But I frickin' LOVED to float. I was the best at floating.

When I hit puberty I dropped some pounds and then, one summer, at the beach, I realized I couldn't float anymore. I did not like this. My legs kept sinking, my arms flailing, my head bobbing under the water. "Must be cuz I lost weight," I thought. Maybe it was all my blubber that let me chill like a whale. But that wasn't comforting. I loved to float, I was the best floater. I got pissed.

Getting pissed didn't help. Then one day a wise teacher said to me, "You're tense. Relax, let go, let the water hold you." It was weird. He was right. I struggled some more, then suddenly released, and bam. I was floating again.

Freedom is like floating. You have to relax into it whenever you get the chance. The problems will come, the atrocities will occur (and it's more and more likely that they will occur, are occurring, and have already occurred outside our own doors), but if you know what YOUR FREEDOM FEELS LIKE, you will smell it, feel it, sense it coming. 

This is good, because these days, real freedom, real floating is hard to come by without looking for it. You can't just float anymore. You can'tt get too comfortable with your freedom, because the meaning of that word may have changed since you last checked in. But the acceptance, the relaxation, the release required to float are all criteria that can dramatically increase your ability to find freedom in the midst of the crappiest currents.

Cindy.

My mom woke me up too early this AM. I didn't want to wake up. I wanted to rebel, to conquer, I wanted to escape, to go back to sleep, to frickin' whine. But mom was up. She wanted to go the beach. I was not floating. I was not free. I was tired, and I was pissed. I felt the absurdity of myself being an idiot and creating so much unnecessary drama. I put my suit on and went to the beach with my mom. I didn't attack. I didn't retreat. I went to the beach and I sat.

"This is freedom," I thought. In this moment, I am lucky enough to have no problems. This moment is always available, even if only for a moment. I sat completely still. I wanted to write this feeling down so I could share it. But I didn't dare. I sat so still.

And THEN the cutest, whiskery-est, slipperiest, greyest seal poked his head out of the water directly in front of where my mom and I were sitting. We jumped! I grabbed my phone and looked up Seal medicine. 

I found this, from www.shamanicjourney.com: "Seals are (obviously) sea mammals, and are highly symbolic of our feeling, sensual selves. The seal helps us to remember our connection to our deep inner rhythms, feelings, and knowing, as represented by the sea... When we are afraid of drowning in these depths, Seal being a good swimmer and knowing how to flow with the ever changing current, reminds us how to swim with the current. When we do this, the negative feelings we have created such as worry, fear and anxiety are released form our minds. If Seal enters your life you are being asked to review the ebb and flow of your thoughts and emotions and find and keep up a point of balance."

I like the idea of flowing, so very much. But in that moment, when Seal popped his snout out of the blue, I prefer to think he was floating. Still. Happy. And Free. Whatever he did next would be in his flow. I respected the his flow. It made me want to be like him. Good thing I'm growing my beard out. I dove in the water and practiced.

This is my best early morning "running seal pose," (photo by my mom). All the gifs are from George Michael's music video, "Freedom 90"

I floated. I flowed. I went up, and down. And I felt pretty free. On this Independence Day, may we all find the perfect balance between flowing and floating. May we all know freedom.

Millions of thanks to everyone and everything that has created, sustained, and supported true freedom, in the US and around the world. Oceans of love to all those living under tyranny, delusion, and separation. May we all know freedom now. Today.

With Love and Firecracker Light,
MD

A Suggestion for Solstice Ritual

No overwhelming astrological insights necessary. This is my EdibleSpirit approved suggestion for a Summer Solstice/Strawberry Moon Ritual. More open than you think.

1. Light a candle and imagine yourself in a protective shell (shape, size and color of your choosing).

2. Take 7 deep centering breaths, in through your nose and out through your mouth. Every time you exhale, imagine yourself letting go of anything you don't need. See it as grey or black smoke leaving through your mouth or the bottoms of your feet.

3. Call in your guides, teachers, ancestors, and the spirits of the land upon which you are doing the ritual.

4. State your intention: "This is a ritual to honor the Summer Solstice, the longest day of the year, and the entrance of the sun into the sign of Cancer, home of the Mother. I (or we) are pausing to observe this moment, and to offer thanks to the ridiculous abundance of Mother Earth.

5. Since the full moon is an appropriate time to release stuff, and the summer solstice is a great time to prune away the weeds that have grown up around healthy intentions - LET SOMETHING GO! Write down 1-3 regrets or limitations that you no longer wish to subscribe to, especially related to your openness. If you've tried to be open and wish you hadn't, if you're beating yourself up about something, or frustrated by something that's holding you back, just write it down.

6. Place the paper inside a vase. Fill it with water, and place a bunch of flowers in the vase. Set the vase next to the candle. You can leave other offerings if you like (fruit, candies, or cakes, or anything that you love and would love to have offered to yourself)

7. Make a promise. Write down 1-3 ways in which you are willing to open yourself. To a new job? A new relationship? To some old part of yourself that you've been keeping quarantined. 1-3 ways in which you are promising to open yourself. Keep this on your altar, tack it on the wall, or give it to someone you trust who will remind you of the promises you've made when you need to be reminded.

8. Pause and ask your guides and ancestors if there are any messages you need to receive. Alternatively just let yourself feel your connection to Spirit, exactly as it is.

9. Give thanks to Mother Earth, to the sun, moon, stars, and all the cosmic energies in the sky. Thank your guides, your ancestors, your teachers and the spirits of the land beneath your feet. Bow deeply to your heart and let yourself connect with the center of every being everywhere. Then declare the ritual closed. Leave the flowers and offerings for at least 3 days, then release them in a body of water, or bury them in the earth. If you can't do those, just flush them or discard them with gratitude and respect.

An EdibleSpirit Approach to Job Hunting

Werk, werk, werk, werk, werk...

When someone comes to me for a reading or healing, I respect that they, and their concerns, are as unique and significant as the moment we share. Despite this uniqueness, most of the questions and issues that people bring up during a session can be grouped under three (very) broad headings: Life, Love, and Work.

Life readings are my fave: dealing with big questions about who we are and why we’re here. I also put guidance concerning psychic development and spiritual awakening under the “life” heading as those gifts and realizations usually pop up to illuminate and empower your experience of who you are and why you’re here in this life. 

I cut my teeth on love readings while working for an international phone psychic line. When I say Love, in this context, I really mean all relationships, including family, friends, acquaintances, colleagues, lovers and spouses. How you relate to others is how you relate to yourself. The way you love others is the way you love yourself, so relationships=love.

It's me, MD in the midst of a group reading, waving some sage to keep it fresh.

While doing love readings, “on the line”, most of my callers were people wanting to know how so-and-so really felt about them or when they would hear from a lost love again. I did my best to answer all the questions posed while guiding callers stay focused on the bigger themes associated with love and relationships:  acceptance, forgiveness, deservedness, trust, communication, and commitment. Working on the line helped me to refine my understanding of how ancient wisdom can be applied to modern problems, and I’ve got a few thoughts on the subject, which I will share down the line.

Then, in 2008, as the US economy tanked there was a distinct shift in the concerns of my clients, with a much greater emphasis placed on work readings.

“When will I find work? Will I lose everything? How do I tell my family what’s happening to me?”

It was such a hard time for so many people, during which the realities everyone faced seemed to shake them to their core. It was difficult for me, too, to stay centered for so many while feeling the depths of their pain.

But that is my job as a healer - to stay present, calm, and grounded, no matter what my client is going through - to hold space and point the way to the place where all is well and all is whole. That place is always there, in the middle of the moment you are in, waiting to be found.

Problem is, in the middle of crippling material realities, like unemployment, bankruptcy, shame and fear, the last thing most people want to hear is an immaterial solution.

“How can my perspective help me when all I need is money for my mortgage?”

That was tough for me to answer at first. I would consult my guides, my tarot, my higher self and whatever else could help us find clarity, understanding, and acceptance in the midst of the storm. I turned, as always, to the wisdom of the ancients to provide a clear path to positive identification and acceptance in the moment. I knew if we could find that space together, from there, it would be just a few steps, a handful of choices, and a couple commitments before clear skies and smooth sailing were just as valid a reality as the financial tempest that preceded them.

I’ve done my best to distill everything I ever learned from all those work readings, and the ones still going on today, into the following three reminders for spiritual job-hunting. My hope is that they will help you to infuse your modern grappling with ancient ease, and in so doing give you some spiritual levity in the midst of so much material gravity.

1. What do you have to do?

As in, what is your bottom line? This part is between you and your bank account. What do you need? Like really need? To eat, to drink, to sleep, to live. There are certain basic financial realities which cannot be avoided. Sometimes these realities are logical and valid and true, but most often, the fear that people feel around lack, loss, or not having enough make the question of “What is your bottom line?” too scary to answer.

Alternatively you may think you absolutely most definitely need really fancy eye cream. You probably don’t need a healer to help you decide whether your rent is more important than your eye cream. And I’m not hating on eye cream! Maybe you really do need it. Maybe it’s worth it for you to not eat or drink for a week to have it. I would always choose food over eye cream, but that’s me. 

My point is that only you know where your bottom line is. Only you can know and decide what you really need to do to meet it. Once you are honest about what you need to survive, you can figure out how to proceed: whether you can make this on your own as you are, whether you have to cut something loose or sacrifice something, whether you need to hustle harder, or ask for help, or do something drastic. Be honest, be clear, do the math, and know your bottom line and what you need.

This first query corresponds to your root chakra - getting right with where you are, accepting the present as it is, and in that place of acceptance and presence, taking the first steps in the direction of your choosing.

2. What do you really, truly, want to do?

If there were no bottom line, if money was no object, if you had all of your druthers, a pie in the sky, and a pipe dream par excellence, what would you do? Shoot for the stars, please, and be really honest no matter how crazy it seems.

We give up our dreams so easily! If you’re workin’ 9-5 but would rather be a freelance photographer, STOP pretending like you’re good with your 9-5. Admit it raw! I want this! I want to be a photographer, a designer, a rockstar, WHATEVER. This is such a necessary step as it gives you something to work for, a professional guiding star.

And it doesn’t have to be that big of a deal either. What you want can be work-related. Maybe you’re in a position of minor responsibility and major work, and you would prefer more responsibility but less work… ADMIT IT. Maybe you don’t even have or want a big ass dream. Maybe you want more time to garden. Maybe you want more time to do nothing. Maybe you “just” want a family and love to balance out your career. Then please, be clear, and don’t keep working towards infinite fame and fortune. Know your bottom line, meet it in the work you’re doing, and then save the rest of the energy to apply to that which you truly desire.

This query corresponds to your sacral chakra - allowing yourself to want, to desire, to yearn -  and honoring your desires without judging them as unreasonable or frivolous or absurd. This is the key to spiritual peace in the middle of material chaos (and one of the hardest parts of the practice)- keeping the channel of hope and possibility open despite having no visible, tangible, 3-dimensional reason to do so.

3. How are you maintaining the balance between what you want to do and what you have to do?

This is not theoretical, or a one shot deal. You don’t just figure out the balance and leave it at that. Balance is discovered while the boat is rocking back and forth. It requires constant adjustment and eternal refinement, and that’s ok. The point is to keep the whole spectrum (from what you have to do to what you want to do) on your radar.

The easiest way to do this is to write all of it down. Just answer the above question: What do you have to do? What do you really want to do? Write each answer on opposite sides of a piece of paper draw a circle around each, and draw a line to connect the two. This is your work spectrum.

You can be more specific - formulating a clear plan of attack to get to where you want to be, but you know what they say about best-laid-plans. Things happen. Things change. Sometimes your responsibilities will prevent you from taking action in the direction of your dreams and the balance will tip in favor of what you have to do. Other times, your obligatory load will lift, and the energy freed up will be able to find its way into that which you truly desire to engage. Your mission is not to control the war, but to maintain a birds-eye-view of the battlefield and be ready when the energy of stagnation and struggle gets freed up. 

This energy will always flow in the direction of least resistance, aka towards what your heart, soul, and spirit truly wish to embody and express… but if you have no clear intention, it’s going to take longer to find its way there.

Maybe you forget yourself for a moment, or a day, or two. Maybe you’re throwing a hissy-fit. Maybe something horrible happens. Maybe you just decide there’s no point to dreaming and you should just make do with what you’ve got, no need to go wanting something else… All of these responses are fine! It’s ok for you to lose your way, just please, please, don’t let a moment of confusion make you conclude that you don’t want anything.

This all corresponds to the solar plexus chakra - what are you doing, what action are you taking, and most importantly, what are you committed to. By clarifying your commitment it becomes so much easier to effectively apply your will/energy/life force to the achievement of your goals.

NOTE: You are not multitasking here - there are two extremes, what you have to do and what you want to do, and your only task is to acknowledge those poles, honor the balance, maintain it, and keep both present in your mind and experience.

Then, every moment you breathe and every choice you make can be an opportunity to remind yourself of the field upon which you are playing. We are all somewhere between where we have to be and where we want to be. It’s pretty empowering to call out those poles, because by identifying the extremes and edges of our experience, we can remind and reassure ourselves that the midway between where we have to be and where we want to be is exactly where we are. 

One last thought: There really is no such thing as a spiritual job, but there is such a thing as work that is aligned with your spirit. That work is going to change every time you change - because YOU are what the work is aligning to. The longer you attend to the balance along this spectrum, the more momentum, mojo and magic you accumulate, the more likely it is that you will eradicate all separation between what you have to do and want to do. Meanwhile, the guidance offered here is to help you prioritize the needs of your spirit without denying the realities of your existence. 

Happy working, happy transitioning, happy hunting, happy finding.

With love and new-paradigm light,
MD

Who's Your Mama?

When I say I work for the Mother, I know exactly what I mean… but it recently occurred to me that it might be worth explaining.

When I talk about the Mother, I am talking about the feminine aspect of All That Is.

You could call it the Goddess, but that smacks of nutritional yeast and tie-dye to me (btdubs I love the Goddess, and nutritional yeast and tie-dye, I just don’t love the way one little word can shut down a being’s entire processing system). The truth is that the words God and Goddess are two sides of the same coin - that unnameable, unspeakable, indescribable, inconceivable totality -  All That Is.

In this über-fluid year of 2016, I don’t like giving too much weight to gendered binaries. I just want to point out that Goddess and God are binary for a reason: so that we can discuss the larger infinitely unknowable umbrella term from which they descend - All That Is.

All That Is is kinda just that. All That Is. Bigger and more beyond the most distant reaches of beyond. Containing all things and within all things... like ALL of them, and then the rest of ALL of them.

So what is the Mother? For the sake of discussion let's go balls to the binary wall by asking:  What is the Father?

I think of the Father as the Male aspect of All That Is - the idea, the spark, the very form of our universe.

I think of the Mother as the Female aspect of All That Is - the expression, the flame, the very content of our universe.

Every culture has a binary like this - usually revealed through myth, folklore, or scripture. I particularly love the idea of Shiva and Shakti - both universal forces, both aspects of Brahman (All That Is), but Shiva respresents the universe in potential, in idea, in form, while Shakti is that same universe in action, in expression, in content. 

It can be argued that everything in existence can be organized by these polarities (yin/yang, light/dark, masc/fem) but remember! They are only referential headings which allow us to discuss that which is un-discussable.

One other idea: If the Father asserts that all of creation is contained within Him, then the Mother asserts that SHE is within all of creation. And let’s face it, she doesn’t have to assert it, she knows it’s true so she can just keep flowing. 

So that’s what I mean when I say I work for the Mother: I work on behalf of All That Is, in expression.

All the juiciest content out there in the world - from the most glorious constructions to the humblest piles of waste. The pretty flowers and the plastic bags. The fearless and the terrified. I wake up, every day, and I ask to be reminded of the light within all things and all beings. I ask to see only that.

I let others argue about God, and theories, and ideas. If I have to talk about something, I will most likely talk about the Mother. But before long I will most likely just I bury my face in the breast of creation (aka the Mother) and take care of myself as best I can (cuz mama said so) so that I can get deep into doing her work.

What is the work of the mother? It is in identifying, encouraging, and unleashing the power of All That Is in expression. First in myself, then in others. It's even become part of my pre-session schpiel - “I am here to work with you to find your path of least resistance - to help you discern who you actually are, and to give free reign to the dynamic expression of that truth within you. To build practices and understandings that support that truth. To clear away whatever is not aligned with that truth."

Because even though it’s all blessed as part of creation, sometimes there are feelings, beliefs, patterns and perspectives that are not of the present; that are borne from past traumas or future worries. But in the middle of it all the Mother is flowing through all things. I ask to see her presence in all things and all beings. I know she is just part of something bigger, and I am humbled to approach the wisdom from whence she comes.

If I've learned anything it is that the Mother loves to see us expressing ourselves, because SHE IS THAT EXPRESSION. So if you want to connect to the Mother, just do that. Be yourself. Express Yourself. She will relish your enjoyment of watching yourself flow through yourself and out into the world. Every time another Mother wave breaks, flowing from you into the world, She will be lit up in the hearts and minds and bodies of everyone that comes in contact with your expression.

Oh PS. She’s totally also just your mother. She’s all mothers. She’s everything nourishing and nurturing and delicious and comforting. She’s my mom, and my mom’s mom, and my grandma’s mom. So if you want to connect to the Mother, connect with your mother, or the most motherly place within yourself and just give a big thumbs up, like "way to go with expressing yourself Mother, thank you because that expression expressed me and my expression touches every drop of you in expression in all expression."

HEY! Maybe we can all make the biggest ever "World’s Best Mom" coffee cup for her out of all the shards of pain and sadness and loss and disconnection we have ever felt. I bet she’d like that: a giant arts and crafts project fusing together all the released misery of her children which could hold what… light? stars? Herself? Yeah. That’s it. While our Mother sits back and sips, it is highly likely that she will whisper through the cosmos: “I am in the liquid I drink. I am in the shards of pain that made this mug. I am in the impulse to create it and to give it back to me. And as I drink I give myself to you again. I will never tire of this giving. For I am in all giving. I am in all receiving. I am in all exchange. I am in you. I am in you. I am in you.”

Endless and Infinite Love and Light to All Mothers Everywhere,
and the Mother in All,
MD

Find Peace Through Baked Potato

Those who know me know I have a lot of energy running through me. Sometimes the energy has its way with me. Sometimes the energy makes me its bitch.

The past few years as I’ve been planting and nurturing the seeds that grew into EdibleSpirit, people would ask me “Don’t you get tired?” and I’m all, “Naaaaaahhhhh, I don’t get tired, I love this work, it energizes me, it makes me feel great. Sure I crash if I don’t take care of myself, but it’s cool.” And then I’d get a sidelong glance like “Okay (She crazy).”

I bottomed out once (not long ago), in late 2014, when I had to take some time off to recuperate from all my cosmic excursions. I had been going so hard, offering everything I could, saying yes to everything else, until I was overextended in a way I didn’t even understand. I had no idea what to do but pull the plug on all things mystical.

In this case it wasn’t just because I was exhausted. I had been so deeply invested in my mystical work and studies that I let all these other pieces of my self fall by the wayside. I was settling into a cozy routine of readings, healings, and teaching. I loved it… until I flipped out.

What had happened? Where was I? Where was the Mikey I used to know? So weird that after committing fully to this path I suddenly worried that I had abandoned myself. I was exhausted, but more importantly I was unhappy and uneasy. Certainly not peaceful.

I knew that if I didn’t feel my best, there was no way I could be holding space for others to feel their best. So I shut down for a hot minute. (Trust. I know that I am so dang blessed to have the luxury of shutting down.)

Problem was, I didn’t stop, I diversified. I picked up all the threads I let go of when I became a full-time healer. I pursued creative outlets that I had left by the wayside. I challenged myself. I did as much as I had ever done and added a few new things to the list. I even came up with the idea behind EdibleSpirit - to go hard into the ether, then bring it back to earth... I just didn’t rest.

The trippy thing is, I didn’t even know I wasn’t resting. I didn’t know I wasn’t recuperating. I thought I was going for peace. I was chasing peace. I was running like mad in search of something, anything, that would still my turbulent waters.

And then some extra craziness unfurled -  family stuff, relationship stuff, work stuff, health stuff, personal, existential, and spiritual stuff. I am supposed to be the one who understands and can handle this stunning array of stuff. And I did handle it all. I took myself to task on the daily, making sure I was acting, being, and thinking with as much integrity as I could muster. I just didn’t rest. And I certainly didn’t find peace. I didn’t stop.

What stands out to me in this whole narrative (and the thing I have the MOST compassion for in others) is that when you don’t know YOU DON’T KNOW. If it’s unconscious, it’s because you're NOT CONSCIOUS of it. And there’s just so much. The pace is so fast. The news is so sad. So many generational, national, and global promises have been broken. There’s so much pain. How can we know everything we need to know, all the time, and still live our lives? And be happy? And find peace? Gawrsh.

I don’t love New Year resolutions. I think they come at an awful time when we’re all bloated and depressed from the insanity of the holidays. Worst time ever to make big life changes. So much pressure. So little will to stay resolved.

So I tend to focus on the Spring Equinox (which JUST passed) as the astrological new year. It’s the best time for starting new projects, and even making resolutions… but years ago a beloved teacher encouraged me to use it as the time to make a list of desires and intentions and to go through several practices for manifesting them. 

I have long been working with making wanting acceptable, allowing free desire in me and around me. So I work on wanting through making that list of intentions and manifestations every spring Equinox. Then I use every practice I have learned to clear the way for them.

This year has been different. When January came I had an urge to make a resolution. I said “I want peace. Now.” I kept it that simple. Peace. Peace. Peace. I was patting myself on the back for what an awesome resolution Peace was. I knew it would be hard. That’s why it was awesome! 

Peace is a state of calm, quiet, and stillness… a state of non-violence, no war. And yet the world is still going on. So peace implies a state that occurs DESPITE all the other forces before, after, and around it.  It’s peace, despite any and all chaos. 

I thought that was a very EdibleSpirit intention - something so lofty and idealistic which also factors in the annoying stimuli of everyday existence. I thought the keyword would give me somewhere to go no matter what got thrown at me. If I could stay peaceful through everything, I would probably grow and get stuff I want also! 

It also sounded great: Peace, man. Not wanting. Not criticizing. Not giving anything up. Just peace.

I have to admit - I’ve been so engaged with this intention that I have become a bit testy - a little hermit-like… Baaaahhhh don’t disturb my quest for peace! If you’re not FOR my peace, you're AGAINST IT! Baaaahhhh. I found some peace at first, but then I think I started fighting for my peace. Things started to feel very black and white, super intense, and a little creaky.

And then the equinox came. I went to write my list of desired manifestations… and I had nothing. I really didn’t want anything. Except… wait for it… peace.

So I did my practice. I asked for peace. I begged for peace. Show me peace, help me cultivate peace, help me find peace. Lead me to peace, guide me to peace. I desire to manifest peace.

And then I heard a voice in my head. “I am peace”

Boom. Big Oprah Ugly Cry.

It’s right there? It’s been there all along? How could you find it anywhere else Mikey? Why have you been looking so hard. 

Trust, it wasn’t world peace. It felt like a teeny tiny little drop of peace in an ocean of crazy. But it was mine. It was ME. It was a place to start, a place to come from, a place to go back to. A pre-existing and prevailing peace.

I see now that my previous states of crap-out fall-down pull-the-plug I-need-to-rest had come from searching high and low and up and down for this thing, which was already in me…

But I was so amped up by the journey! So damned certain it was going to come from somewhere else that I couldn’t calm down for long enough to let this peace that I am consume me. I probably should have done what my BFF calls “Going Baked Potato”- wrapping yourself in all the blankets and vegetating until you can breathe again - but I didn’t. I kept probing for peace.

And there it was. Here I am. It’s yours too. 

Peace is inside of you. Everything you need is inside of you. But we are so turned outward, so dang often, so certain that the answer is out there, that we can’t hear the voice that’s been gently cooing the answer all along. 

Shhhhhh! We say. GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO. Until you have no choice but to baked potato. 

But who can baked potato these days? Where is the time? Sometimes I think flus and strep and colds and sinus crap is just cosmically enforced baked potato.

I’m offering this practice for you to find peace, now, via baked potato state, without having to crash and/or hit a wall.

Momentary Baked Potato Practice:

1. Pretend your hands are tinfoil. Pretend your face is a potato. Wrap your face in your foil hands. Whisper, "Shhhhh, shhhhh, shhhh. I am peace. I am peace. I am full of peace." Feel your face baking with love, acceptance, and encouragement from your self and your hands.

2. Then move your hands to your heart. Imagine your heart is a potato. Whisper "Shhhhh, shhhhh, shhhhh, I am peace, I am peace, I am full of peace." Feel your heart getting warmer and warmer with love, acceptance and encouragement from yourself.

3. Now move your hands to your belly. Imagine your belly is a potato. Gather your whole potato belly in your hands (or if you don’t have a belly just gently fold the hands over the area just below your navel) and whisper "Shhhhhh, shhhhh, shhhhh. I am peace. I am peace. I am full of peace." Feel your belly get warmer with love, acceptance and encouragement from yourself.

4. Imagine your whole body is a giant potato. Imagine your big potato body wrapped in foil. Feel the love, acceptance and encouragement in there. Feel your whole body baking in it, getting warmer and warmer. Say "Shhhhhh, shhhhh, shhhhh, I am peace, I am peace, I am full of peace."

5. Now imagine a big, beautiful set of cosmic hands opening your foil and digging into the potato of your self. The steam that is released is peace. The potato is peace. The butter and sour cream and chives are peace. Let the pre-existing peace within you emerge. Let it prevail. One more time “I am peace, I am peace, I am peace.”

Love and e-z baked light,
MD