How Deep Is Your Love?

If you think you are unworthy, undeserving or unlovable, I’m sorry, but you are wrong.

And you’re not just a little wrong, or occasionally wrong. You’re fundamentally wrong.

Even if you believe you are born inherently bad, even if you can prove it, you’re still wrong. The good, the bad, the holy, the evil, all of it, ALL OF IT is inherently lovable.

I’ve made it my job to see and adore the most lovable aspects of every person I meet. I’ve always done it (usually without knowing it). I think I may even be born to do it. I'm like a truffle pig who has a knack for finding the biggest buried ‘shroom or the one kid in a family who always skims the cream off the top or manages to find the crispiest bits on every roast. I relish this opportunity every time I’m faced with it.

When it’s challenging, I like it even more. It’s never actually harder - the most lovable bits are always right there - but it can take a moment longer to agree on the best parts of a person if they are deeply buried or intricately obscured. We then have to investigate, to unearth, to spelunk, to discover… We get to go down dark hallways of doubt and despair and open doors to rooms full of warmth and brightness. Without exception, the rooms are there.

I really love finding the lovable in everyone and everything… until I am confronted with myself.

It’s harder when there’s only one - one to be the detective, the cheerleader, the cartographer, the spelunker. It requires solo-digging, often in pitch dark with emotional bats and psychological creepy crawlies flying at your face, covering your arms, doing their darnedest to convince you to turn back, walk away, and give up the search. 

Fortunately there is an entire army of invisible forces around you (and within you) that are exclusively interested in helping you track down the most deliciously lovable aspects of your being. Even when something awful, tragic, or excruciating occurs, these same forces are at the ready to nudge you in the direction of that within you which is eternally and eminently lovable.

The thing I want to remind you of, again, is that no matter what you think or say or do, that essentially lovable part of yourself is always there. There’s nothing wrong with you. There’s only the inaccuracy of your perception or the stubbornness of your certainty - You are wrong but you don’t know it, or you know you’re wrong but insist upon your rightness.

Why does it have to be a struggle? Why don’t you just give in to the love? I don’t even care if it makes you feel good, I’m just saying it makes no sense to resist! Why struggle to convince yourself that you are anything other than the best parts of yourself? Why not seize on every bit of nasty, corner it, and shake your finger in its face saying “Hold up there you little asshole, YOU are the one that’s wrong. I don’t need any back talk or negotiation, you’re WRONG! GIVE IT UP!”

How to neutralize the fight? How to make it a dance instead of a struggle? You don’t have to be cling to your lovable self 24/7. You don’t even have to believe it’s true. Just make the choice to look for the love instead of the un-love. Seize the love first. Then when you are confronted by the non-love seize that too! Love it and dive deeply with it until! Make it your co-conspirator, summon the strength, mystically massage it with your care and attention until it is transformed by your sheer endurance and persistence. “I know it is there. I know I am that. If I can just hold on, long enough, with that certainty, I know I will find it, I know that it will reveal itself to me.

Maybe that’s the biggest conspiracy of all: The most lovable part of yourself is running the show. Summoning YOU as co-conspirator to facilitate the hostil (loving) takeover of your whole existence. This most lovable part of your self wants nothing more than to dance a slow, sensuous, vintage burlesque style strip tease for you and everyone you love. “Watch me, watch me, now you think you don’t see me, now I seem obscured, but I will emerge, I will make my true self known. I will give myself to you completely, you need only look my way.”

If the most lovable parts of you are actually working full time to make themselves known, HOW MUCH EFFORT you must be putting into keeping them obscured!

Every moment, every exchange, every relationship or job or romantic partner, every thing you do, say, or see, is presenting you with a neutral choice - look for the love or don’t look for it. Spend your energy on finding compassion, acceptance, forgiveness, or don’t. 

Just remember, every choice you make, every action you take, every single thought you have sounds a tone. Every tone can contribute to a glorious song of compassion, acceptance, forgiveness, trust and love; or it can clang in chaos, discord and disconnection. The more you clang the more you hear the clanging. The more you sing the more the symphony crescendoes. 

No pressure. You don’t have to do anything or sustain anything. Not right now. It’s about a question, an opportunity, every time: Harmony or discord? Which do you choose? Don't cling to the choice, there's another opportunity coming. But why wait?

And there’s really no right answer… Even the gnarliest of noise-music has something lovable in it, you just have to learn to listen. 

With love and light from the depths of my most silent spaces,
MD

A Question of Commitment

What are you committed to? What do you give yourself to? What is your service? What is your purpose?

Asking these (BIG) questions is really fun for me, mostly because I have been so dang blessed to see people actually come up with answers in our sessions and workshops.

A lot of people don't even let themselves ask the question.

I am committing myself to love these days. To love itself, but also to WHAT I love.

I’m talking a whole lot about love these days too. Unabashedly. It used to be abashedly, I would think "Gee Mikey that sounds so pat - it can't really all be about love..." And maybe it isn't, maybe it is also about pain and suffering and misery and all that. 

But I'm pretty sure love is all there is/all you need/all we really have.

I’d leave it at that if I could. I’ve learned though, that I need something a leeeeetle bit more tangible, that I can sink my teeth into.

What you love is what matters to you. What you love is what you want to work for. What you love is what you are committed to.

That’s wicked tangible right? Except sometimes we commit to working for something that doesn’t matter to us at ALL. Sometimes we have no choice but to do so… even if only to make rent. And yet, I am convinced that it is always possible to put the cart before the horse - to make sure that even if you are not working on what you love, you are always working FOR what you love. Working IN THE NAME of what you love.

So in that way, Love is a wholly authentic, completely intangible priority.

Love is the only thing that inspires me to commit to anything. I may have to do something I don't want to do - work on something I don't want to work on - in order to open a path to work that is in line with what I love, but if I lose track of that love, I feel like I lose track of everything.

For some reason if you're not a milennial, the idea of only working for what you love seems like a luxury. But it's not. I frequently see people whose lives are in atrophy over complete commitment to something that means NOTHING to them, that doesn't matter, that they don't love.

I'm not saying you don't have to do what you have to do, but I am saying there is no point in being committed to anything if it's not at least aligned with something or someone you love.

But in this era - when most of us are trying to create our selves while simultaneously broadcasting the perfectly captured selfie of that creation, it's so easy to forget what you love, who you are, and all of your priorities.

I really think all this spiritual stuff is just a process of figuring out your authentic, intangible priorities, what you love, and then rearranging your existence and adjusting your choices bit by bit to affirm those priorities until the world around you matches the world inside you as closely as possible. Even if it takes your entire life, it’s very very worth it.

Fortunately there is an entire hierarchy of entities and energies that are TOTALLY COMMITTED to helping you discover who you are and what you love as QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE!!! Because they and we know that this world needs us, and our light, and our love, like soon badly.

I believe we can all access those energies and entities on our own, but it helps to have help.

In the early stages of working with clients it's super simple: We turn to our extra-dimensional team in order to receive insight and reflections about who you really are and what really matters to you. We don't jam it down your throat, we offer it up, and if it vibes it vibes, and then everything is able to change.

But it all starts with those questions: Who are you? What are you committed to? What do you give yourself to?

When those questions start getting answered, new choices can be made about what you are committing yourself to. If those choices are more in line with your true self, you save so much energy, and that energy builds up until you have more than enough to share... Then it's about how do you want to give it away? How do you want to commit the surplus of love you've unleashed through your realigned priorities!?!?!?!?!?

Ugh, it's so awesome.

Right now I am clinging to what I love. Humping it gently, and probably crying a little while doing it, cuz I'm emo like that. It's intangible sometimes, but I know I'm doing it right when I feel good. The moment I disconnect from what I love, I feel physical pain in my body. I feel like I'm abandoning myself and my priorities. It hurts. And it’s not worth it. The love is still there, but the commitment has abated.

My wish for you (and dang man, for me too) is that you remain as fully committed to what you love as is humanly and divinely possible.

It’s so possible. And it's worth it.

I love you,
MD

This and That, Here and There

In my recent travels I remembered something that is at the core of the EdibleSpirit ethos: 

Living a “Spiritual” life needn’t be more than a 50/50 proposition.

Said another way: You DO NOT have to give 100% of yourself to Spiritual practice.

First, because Spiritual practice is totally optional. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.

Second, most of us are already investing all of our time and energy in our Earth practice, and many of us pride ourselves on giving 150% all the time. But dude, 100% is all you actually have available to give. If you're already terrestrially challenged, trying to give what time and energy you have left to your Spiritual practice presents a pressure to sustain a pace that can make people turn away from any practice at all.

Sometimes it seems like Spiritual practice can disconnect you from your Earth practice, because whatever’s going on “over there” is so much better and more desirable than the stuff that’s happening right here. Plenty of philosophies have this hierarchy woven into their doctrine. It leads to spaciness and new-age weirdo-ness, or in extreme cases a kind of peace and love fundamentalism that is really just criticism obscured by conscious-sounding vocabulary.

Problem is, dabbling is just as unsustainable. It can foster a lack of respect and knowledge of the forces you’re working with and can get people involved in situations that are too intense too soon. This can lead to energetic experiences that are unhealthy or even dangerous. 

Dabbling also encourages turning to your Spiritual practice only in times of crisis, without building up the fortitude and endurance that comes through repetitive practice. This makes it hard to access your truth when you need it most.

But again, I’m not calling for 100%. 50 will do just fine. 50 is actually a lot! But it’s worth it.

50% is what I suggest as the minimum investment that will yield sustainable returns. I see people all the time who put zero energy into their practice and still expect it to yield results. It doesn't have to be more, but it probably shouldn't be too much less.

Sometimes I give people homework during a private session (it’s actually not me, it’s the extra dimensional forces within and around us - guides, guardians, or your higher self) for a practice that will cause, support, or sustain a desired change. Rarely do I suggest more than 20 minutes of anything at a time. Usually it’s 5-10 minutes of something every day. When people come back going “Why didn’t this thing change?” It’s usually simple: did you do the stuff that was suggested? “No.” Well? Did you do just half of what was suggested? “No.” So…

Why would expect anything to change? Without focus, and intention, and attention, (some basic components of Spiritual practice) you will be hard pressed to summon and sustain the fire of will which causes Spiritual transformation to occur.

I get it though - It's hard to find ways to prioritize your practice, it's easy to let it go. What I'm pointing out is that this is due to an implicit all-or-nothing approach to this spiritual stuff.  I don't think people should be cheated out of the benefits of Spiritual practice just because they don't want to become a monk; but it's also important to remember that you will reap what you sow.  And that’s why I created EdibleSpirit - to affirm that it is possible, ESPECIALLY in this day and age, to find a sustainable balance between the divine and mundane, the celestial and the terrestrial, the EDIBLE and the SPIRIT. 

And heyo, nobody’s keeping score, so don’t overthink “What does 50% mean?” All I'm suggesting is that it’s more than 0 and less than 100 - somewhere right in the middle.

At the core of what I'm saying is a reminder:

We are not on the other side. We are not in our light bodies (not yet). We are HERE. In human form. Having lives, relationships, working, loving, and doing our best to express our truth, understand as much as possible, and hopefully find some sense of peace, purpose and maybe just maybe a connection to infinite hope, possibility and illumination.

But all that happens here, on Earth. and we don’t have that long to experience it happening. It's worth it to put work in on the other side, and on the inner and invisible planes... just remember that the rewards of that work are to benefit you here and now. No postponement of enjoyment. Work hard (50%) then do nothing (50%). Study, meditate, practice (50%) live, love, laugh (50%). DO your Spiritual Practice (50%), then just BE (50%).

There may be times you want to give more, there may be times that more seems to be required of you, but I am offering these words to affirm that your practice need not take you away from yourself and the world. I’m not trying to go over there to get away from here. I’m trying to go there, get that good-good, then bring it back and use it to improve the experience of all beings everywhere without exception until a complete divinisation of the physical plane has occurred.

One of my favorite Masters, Sri Aurobindo, says it way better.

“Matter itself cannot be the original and ultimate reality. At the same time the view that divorces Matter and Spirit and puts them as opposites is unacceptable; Matter is a form of Spirit, a habitation of Spirit, and here in Matter itself there can be a realisation of Spirit.”

5 Elements (of Style)

At its best, the wisdom of the ages is here to help us break down the vast, pulsating cosmos into more manageable parts. We then look at or through the the smaller sections to find a greater experience of the whole.  It's funny because we use different words, ideas, and practices to approach a territory that is pretty non-verbal... But this spiritual stuff is full of those kinds of contradictions. 

In the interest of doing something fun and seemingly contradictory, I'm going to use the ancient and esoteric idea of the 5 elements as a springboard for some super-cool, contemporary discussion of style. 

First I'll give you a breakdown of the five elements (the essential abstract qualities that manifest in form to make up the entire physical world as we know it), then I’m going to include suggestions for fashion inspiration that can help you DRESS YOUR ELEMENT.

Which element are you? Which of these do you vibe with?  Most great looks have a combination of two or three elements which is great! I've pulled images that lean in the direction of just one. For extra fun, and maybe even a little healing revelation, if you are excessively feeling the qualities of one element you can adopt the look of the opposite element to balance out your ish... 

How to Dress Your Elemental Self

AIR:
The element of air is connected to wind, the breath, the mind, the mental body and the experience of the intellect. The air signs are Libra, Aquarius and Gemini. Air is active, cleansing, expressive, insightful and high frequency. Air travels far and fast, so Air people tend to quickly induce and reveal new and different perspectives. When untempered by other elements Air can be finicky, fickle, distant, detached and cold. Its complements are water and fire, its opposite is earth.

Harry Stiles banging your eyes with beauty and geometry, Diane Kruger playing with proportion and feathers.

WEAR YOUR AIR:
Dress for cleverness, cleanliness and unique, intellectual combinations of stuff. Get clever about it, play with stuff, overthink things. The idea here is not lightness or breeziness, that’s more connected to water. With air outfits it’s about clarity, simplicity even severity. Minimalism! Tech! Sharp, sleek, and so put together. Air represents the mind and intellect, so high concept understatement and stuff that tricks the eye are key. Air also crosses boundaries, so androgynous looks are airy automatically. The lofty, detached perspective of air means “Even if it seems like I want you to look at what I’m wearing, the way I’ve styled it is so interesting to me I don’t really care what you think.” Ladies: Super sleek tight topknot, a cropped neoprene cardigan, a high waisted trapeze skirt with tights and lobster boot heels.  Gents: Tech-influenced pants, white high tops, a thigh length deep v-neck shirt, a cropped leather vest, a floor length trench. Go for high concept, low flash, ideas over emotions.

FIRE:
The element of fire is connected to heat, warmth, energy, the actual spark of life and fire of digestion, and therefore the experience of the transformative power of the soul and spiritual body. The Fire Signs are Aries, Leo and Sagittarius. Fire is active, dynamic, and self-sustaining. It provides light and so can be supportive but can be indiscriminate in what it uses for fuel. Fire is hard to control, and likes to burn through whatever is in its way, so Fire people can be relentless in their growth and expansion, becoming destructive if left untempered. Its complements are air and earth, its opposite is water.

Jane Fonda is always on fire, Jeremy Scott definitely wants you to look at him.

WEAR YOUR FIRE:
Dress for drama, effect, and rebelliousness. Think bright colors, especially those that are warm and even reflective - reds, yellows, oranges and golds. Rather than sensuality, go for sexuality, with pieces that are tight and even revealing- fierceness, ostentation, cleavage (boob, butt, or basket). This is not about finding your inner self (which is more of a water thing), fire is about wearing something that will unleash your inner maniac and turn every head as you walk by. Accessorize with seriously high heels or flashy colored kicks, and jewelry that is even a little ridiculous. Don’t be cerebral about it, go for effect. Let your freak flag fly. “I am on fire in this outfit. I am DTF but approach with caution because I decide whether you get some or not.” Examples: Ladies - A dead-sexy dress with a plunging neckline, a matching Louboutin heel, accentuated multicolored eye makeup, a gigantic enameled cocktail ring. Gents:  Navy suit, open collared brightly colored shirt, unbuttoned to show some sex, a crazy clashing pocket square, and something to make you feel like a rooster - a bizarrely vivid gold shoe or a super sexy tilted hat. Go for slinky, sexy, flashy, colorful, jaw dropping glamourousness.

EARTH: The element of earth is connected to soil, stones, and minerals, as well as plants, wood, the physical body, and the experience of structure, support, growth and physical manifestation. The Earth Signs are Capricorn, Taurus, and Virgo. Earth is passive, solid, nurturing and dependable. Earth doesn’t move much, so Earth people tend to provide more in the way of practical, enduring actions and bare-bones assessment of experience. They are so solid, but can become stagnant, stubborn and immobile if left untempered by the other elements. Earth's complements are fire and water, its opposite is air.

Alexa Chung and Stavros Niarchos III looking expensive, but down to Earth.

WEAR YOUR EARTH:
Dress for texture, weight and heft. Think lush, heavy, thick knits, leathers, tweeds, wools, cashmeres. Pants with structure, but not architectural lines (architecture is a little more visual/cerebral, and therefore air element). Also, bold statement pieces that are hefty but not ostentatious. Metals and raw looking crystals. Big cuffs, gemstone necklaces and and thick boots. “I feel so safe and secure and strong and deliciously grounded by what I’m wearing, You probably want to touch me.” Examples - Ladies - Lush leather jeggings, a big warm textured sweater, chunky heeled ankle boots and pounded metallic drop earrings. Gents: Quality jeans, cable knit sweater, a tweed coat and motorcycle boots. Emphasize texture, weight and quality.

WATER:
Water is the element associated with the oceans, lakes and seas, all the moisture in our bodies and on the planet, the emotional body, feeling, love, empathy, exchange,, sexuality, passion, intuition and creativity. The water signs are Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces. Water is passive, fluid and incredibly adaptable, filling space, changing form, ebbing and flowing like the tides. It can be calm and reflective or thorough and solvent, depending on its state and container, so water people are usually just as malleable, adapting to their circumstances intuitively. They are sensitive, easily overwhelmed and tend to spill over and flood with feeling if left untempered by the other elements. Its complements are air and earth, its opposite is fire.

Kanye feeling his oats alongside Alicia Vikander in a fabulous, flowy, super sweet maxi gown.

WEAR YOUR WATER:
Dress for sensuality, flow, motion, and the feeling the clothes give you (as opposed to the actual feel of the clothes in your hands which is more Earthy). You could go for a bluish or green pallette, but you don’t have to be that literal about it. Instead go for stuff that changes the way you feel - things that make noise or change shape when they move. Things that feel like you’re swimming inside of them - oversized anything, grandpa sweaters, lush (faux) furs, maxi-dresses or Anything that has an effect that seems to transform your state of mind. You can also play up the sensitivity of a look - it seems like lightness and innocent might be airy - but demure, delicate and fragile looks are actually more akin with water and its stillness and sensitivity. "It doesn't matter what I'm wearing... all that matters is how it makes me feel."  Ladies: A really pretty big pleated a-line skirt, a buttoned up lace covered peter-pan collar blouse, hair half-up-half-down, jangly earrings and a lovely little ladylike wrap. Gents: Pinwhale corduroys, a sueded button-down, a silk cravat and an oversized cardigan with Clarks.  Prioritize sensuality, flow, sensitivity, sweetness and subjectivity.

ETHER:
The quintessential fifth element of ether is associated with space, silence, connection and Mila Jovovich. Ether is invisible, unknowable, and neutral, without characteristic other than space and maybe consciousness. It is beyond all physical manifestation and is the space in which the other elements manifest. There are no signs associated with it, Ether is the element of the enduring immortal soul.

J-Lo and Leto, impossibly etheric in looks that might even blend ALL the elements but are somehow beyond...

WEAR YOUR ETHER:
This is the most important element as far as I’m concerned, because it represents that certain invisible something, without which none of the rest of this stuff would be possible. In this case the ether is your invisible x-factor. Etheric looks make my eyes pop out of my head. You don’t know why they work - they seem like they shouldn’t EVEN work… and yet they do, oh geez do they ever!  "I am what I am," says the etheric look... All I can say by way of example is whatever element or combination of elements your decide to work with, to bring in ether, make sure everything supports that invisible something that is 100% YOU.

Mercury Retrograde Is Your Friend

I don’t like getting heavy with astrological stuff, but I also want to provide you with the most useful metaphysical info you can get your hands on so…

I’m talking about Mercury Retrograde today.

You’ll find lots of information out there, but my personal understanding of Mercury (messenger of the gods, planet of thinking, ideas and connections) turning retrograde (reexamining, reevaluating, revisiting) is that it compels us to think about how we think.

This is different than most of the surface skim we hear about mercury retrograde: that it messes with your technology, your transportation and travel plans, along with most kinds of communication, but especially electronic.

The idea I’m putting forth is that when these things go wrong, in the form of a crashed computer, delayed train, or undesired “reply-all,” it’s actually the retrograde trying to loosen unnecessary mental knots that have become habitual. By derailing your mind train, Mercury is urging you to pick up each car, assess its functionality, and consider whether you even want to put it back on the track, and if so, in what order.

Problem is, with everyone so amped up about avoiding the undesirable aspects of a Mercury Retrograde (which makes sense because they suck) the focus is shifted away from making the most out of the transit. Everyone’s looking for ways to anticipate or deal with all these things–backup your computer, buy travel insurance, and don’t sign any big agreements–but what happens when your best laid plans get knocked on their mercuric booty?

The trick is to remember that all the road blocks and snafus are designed to direct you back to yourself - and not just in an existential touchy feely way. The problems are here to shift your focus to the series of ideas, associations, behaviors and beliefs that are defaults for you - trajectories along which your sense of self has grown. 

It’s funny, because I just spent way too long looking for a place to finish this post - I wanted to give you numbered steps to follow and so much good advice - but literally everywhere I went with my laptop was closed or impossibly full of patrons. 

First I got annoyed. Then I got hangry. Then I tried two more coffee shops that were also completely jammed. I was starting to go totally insane and then…

I stopped. I was like, “Why is this happening to me? What am I not seeing?”

And all of a sudden I got the message, “You think you need to spend all this time and way more energy on this piece and be so damn thorough and say everything that has to be said. But… you’re probably being obsessive (as usual). You can probably, if you’re being real with yourself, just make the point you need to make and be done with it.”

I won’t bore you with all the buttons that were pushed, all the pressures and processes that were unravelled and challenged when my plans were thwarted and I was confronted with an opportunity to reflect on my motivations. I only want to draw your attention to the brief and beautiful space that was created by these seeming snafus.

Cuz that’s all you get. A little bit of time, a little bit of space when stuff is supposedly going wrong or breaking down. Even though retrograde lasts for 3 weeks with effects that are said to be felt for 3 weeks before and after (about 9 weeks total) this is a momentary opportunity, and one that will pass like quicksilver.

So how will you meet this retrograde?

You could flip out and lose your mind whenevs. You could knowingly chalk everything that happens that is annoying up to the retrograde. Or you could just stop.

When you feel like you’re losing your mind, just stop. Ask yourself “Why is this happening to me?” “What is Mercury telling me I need to look at?” “What can I rethink, reimagine or reexamine in this moment, right now?” “Which of my habitual signals is being jammed?” “How am I being?” “Is there another way?”

I’m hoping these questions will help you to cultivate some adaptability and ease: useful all the time, but especially in a retrograde. 

Also, try to remember that astrological cycles are nothing to freak out about. They’re neither plagues sent by God, nor new-age tests that you get graded on. PLENTY OF PEOPLE KNOW NOTHING ABOUT ASTROLOGY AND THEY’RE FINE. The cycles of astrology are there to give us context and guidance if we choose to read the signs, but keeping up with them is by no means obligatory (there’s new moons and jupiter retrogrades and all sorts of other stuff happening up there right now that we are not talking about. Do you lose at astrology or life because you don’t know everything right now? Heck naw!).

Retrograde will end and all this shit will supposedly go back to normal. Maybe we’ll think about what happened. Maybe we’ll think about how we think. Or maybe not. Learning and evolution will occur whether or not we’re focusing on it, but by bringing our attention to (and hopefully seizing) opportunities for growth, the pace and power of evolution quickens. All you gotta do is stop.

Funny, huh, that stopping can actually make things speed up? Not acting. Not reacting. Just stopping. Sometimes it seems like that’s the answer to everything.