5 Elements (of Style)

At its best, the wisdom of the ages is here to help us break down the vast, pulsating cosmos into more manageable parts. We then look at or through the the smaller sections to find a greater experience of the whole.  It's funny because we use different words, ideas, and practices to approach a territory that is pretty non-verbal... But this spiritual stuff is full of those kinds of contradictions. 

In the interest of doing something fun and seemingly contradictory, I'm going to use the ancient and esoteric idea of the 5 elements as a springboard for some super-cool, contemporary discussion of style. 

First I'll give you a breakdown of the five elements (the essential abstract qualities that manifest in form to make up the entire physical world as we know it), then I’m going to include suggestions for fashion inspiration that can help you DRESS YOUR ELEMENT.

Which element are you? Which of these do you vibe with?  Most great looks have a combination of two or three elements which is great! I've pulled images that lean in the direction of just one. For extra fun, and maybe even a little healing revelation, if you are excessively feeling the qualities of one element you can adopt the look of the opposite element to balance out your ish... 

How to Dress Your Elemental Self

AIR:
The element of air is connected to wind, the breath, the mind, the mental body and the experience of the intellect. The air signs are Libra, Aquarius and Gemini. Air is active, cleansing, expressive, insightful and high frequency. Air travels far and fast, so Air people tend to quickly induce and reveal new and different perspectives. When untempered by other elements Air can be finicky, fickle, distant, detached and cold. Its complements are water and fire, its opposite is earth.

Harry Stiles banging your eyes with beauty and geometry, Diane Kruger playing with proportion and feathers.

WEAR YOUR AIR:
Dress for cleverness, cleanliness and unique, intellectual combinations of stuff. Get clever about it, play with stuff, overthink things. The idea here is not lightness or breeziness, that’s more connected to water. With air outfits it’s about clarity, simplicity even severity. Minimalism! Tech! Sharp, sleek, and so put together. Air represents the mind and intellect, so high concept understatement and stuff that tricks the eye are key. Air also crosses boundaries, so androgynous looks are airy automatically. The lofty, detached perspective of air means “Even if it seems like I want you to look at what I’m wearing, the way I’ve styled it is so interesting to me I don’t really care what you think.” Ladies: Super sleek tight topknot, a cropped neoprene cardigan, a high waisted trapeze skirt with tights and lobster boot heels.  Gents: Tech-influenced pants, white high tops, a thigh length deep v-neck shirt, a cropped leather vest, a floor length trench. Go for high concept, low flash, ideas over emotions.

FIRE:
The element of fire is connected to heat, warmth, energy, the actual spark of life and fire of digestion, and therefore the experience of the transformative power of the soul and spiritual body. The Fire Signs are Aries, Leo and Sagittarius. Fire is active, dynamic, and self-sustaining. It provides light and so can be supportive but can be indiscriminate in what it uses for fuel. Fire is hard to control, and likes to burn through whatever is in its way, so Fire people can be relentless in their growth and expansion, becoming destructive if left untempered. Its complements are air and earth, its opposite is water.

Jane Fonda is always on fire, Jeremy Scott definitely wants you to look at him.

WEAR YOUR FIRE:
Dress for drama, effect, and rebelliousness. Think bright colors, especially those that are warm and even reflective - reds, yellows, oranges and golds. Rather than sensuality, go for sexuality, with pieces that are tight and even revealing- fierceness, ostentation, cleavage (boob, butt, or basket). This is not about finding your inner self (which is more of a water thing), fire is about wearing something that will unleash your inner maniac and turn every head as you walk by. Accessorize with seriously high heels or flashy colored kicks, and jewelry that is even a little ridiculous. Don’t be cerebral about it, go for effect. Let your freak flag fly. “I am on fire in this outfit. I am DTF but approach with caution because I decide whether you get some or not.” Examples: Ladies - A dead-sexy dress with a plunging neckline, a matching Louboutin heel, accentuated multicolored eye makeup, a gigantic enameled cocktail ring. Gents:  Navy suit, open collared brightly colored shirt, unbuttoned to show some sex, a crazy clashing pocket square, and something to make you feel like a rooster - a bizarrely vivid gold shoe or a super sexy tilted hat. Go for slinky, sexy, flashy, colorful, jaw dropping glamourousness.

EARTH: The element of earth is connected to soil, stones, and minerals, as well as plants, wood, the physical body, and the experience of structure, support, growth and physical manifestation. The Earth Signs are Capricorn, Taurus, and Virgo. Earth is passive, solid, nurturing and dependable. Earth doesn’t move much, so Earth people tend to provide more in the way of practical, enduring actions and bare-bones assessment of experience. They are so solid, but can become stagnant, stubborn and immobile if left untempered by the other elements. Earth's complements are fire and water, its opposite is air.

Alexa Chung and Stavros Niarchos III looking expensive, but down to Earth.

WEAR YOUR EARTH:
Dress for texture, weight and heft. Think lush, heavy, thick knits, leathers, tweeds, wools, cashmeres. Pants with structure, but not architectural lines (architecture is a little more visual/cerebral, and therefore air element). Also, bold statement pieces that are hefty but not ostentatious. Metals and raw looking crystals. Big cuffs, gemstone necklaces and and thick boots. “I feel so safe and secure and strong and deliciously grounded by what I’m wearing, You probably want to touch me.” Examples - Ladies - Lush leather jeggings, a big warm textured sweater, chunky heeled ankle boots and pounded metallic drop earrings. Gents: Quality jeans, cable knit sweater, a tweed coat and motorcycle boots. Emphasize texture, weight and quality.

WATER:
Water is the element associated with the oceans, lakes and seas, all the moisture in our bodies and on the planet, the emotional body, feeling, love, empathy, exchange,, sexuality, passion, intuition and creativity. The water signs are Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces. Water is passive, fluid and incredibly adaptable, filling space, changing form, ebbing and flowing like the tides. It can be calm and reflective or thorough and solvent, depending on its state and container, so water people are usually just as malleable, adapting to their circumstances intuitively. They are sensitive, easily overwhelmed and tend to spill over and flood with feeling if left untempered by the other elements. Its complements are air and earth, its opposite is fire.

Kanye feeling his oats alongside Alicia Vikander in a fabulous, flowy, super sweet maxi gown.

WEAR YOUR WATER:
Dress for sensuality, flow, motion, and the feeling the clothes give you (as opposed to the actual feel of the clothes in your hands which is more Earthy). You could go for a bluish or green pallette, but you don’t have to be that literal about it. Instead go for stuff that changes the way you feel - things that make noise or change shape when they move. Things that feel like you’re swimming inside of them - oversized anything, grandpa sweaters, lush (faux) furs, maxi-dresses or Anything that has an effect that seems to transform your state of mind. You can also play up the sensitivity of a look - it seems like lightness and innocent might be airy - but demure, delicate and fragile looks are actually more akin with water and its stillness and sensitivity. "It doesn't matter what I'm wearing... all that matters is how it makes me feel."  Ladies: A really pretty big pleated a-line skirt, a buttoned up lace covered peter-pan collar blouse, hair half-up-half-down, jangly earrings and a lovely little ladylike wrap. Gents: Pinwhale corduroys, a sueded button-down, a silk cravat and an oversized cardigan with Clarks.  Prioritize sensuality, flow, sensitivity, sweetness and subjectivity.

ETHER:
The quintessential fifth element of ether is associated with space, silence, connection and Mila Jovovich. Ether is invisible, unknowable, and neutral, without characteristic other than space and maybe consciousness. It is beyond all physical manifestation and is the space in which the other elements manifest. There are no signs associated with it, Ether is the element of the enduring immortal soul.

J-Lo and Leto, impossibly etheric in looks that might even blend ALL the elements but are somehow beyond...

WEAR YOUR ETHER:
This is the most important element as far as I’m concerned, because it represents that certain invisible something, without which none of the rest of this stuff would be possible. In this case the ether is your invisible x-factor. Etheric looks make my eyes pop out of my head. You don’t know why they work - they seem like they shouldn’t EVEN work… and yet they do, oh geez do they ever!  "I am what I am," says the etheric look... All I can say by way of example is whatever element or combination of elements your decide to work with, to bring in ether, make sure everything supports that invisible something that is 100% YOU.

Mercury Retrograde Is Your Friend

I don’t like getting heavy with astrological stuff, but I also want to provide you with the most useful metaphysical info you can get your hands on so…

I’m talking about Mercury Retrograde today.

You’ll find lots of information out there, but my personal understanding of Mercury (messenger of the gods, planet of thinking, ideas and connections) turning retrograde (reexamining, reevaluating, revisiting) is that it compels us to think about how we think.

This is different than most of the surface skim we hear about mercury retrograde: that it messes with your technology, your transportation and travel plans, along with most kinds of communication, but especially electronic.

The idea I’m putting forth is that when these things go wrong, in the form of a crashed computer, delayed train, or undesired “reply-all,” it’s actually the retrograde trying to loosen unnecessary mental knots that have become habitual. By derailing your mind train, Mercury is urging you to pick up each car, assess its functionality, and consider whether you even want to put it back on the track, and if so, in what order.

Problem is, with everyone so amped up about avoiding the undesirable aspects of a Mercury Retrograde (which makes sense because they suck) the focus is shifted away from making the most out of the transit. Everyone’s looking for ways to anticipate or deal with all these things–backup your computer, buy travel insurance, and don’t sign any big agreements–but what happens when your best laid plans get knocked on their mercuric booty?

The trick is to remember that all the road blocks and snafus are designed to direct you back to yourself - and not just in an existential touchy feely way. The problems are here to shift your focus to the series of ideas, associations, behaviors and beliefs that are defaults for you - trajectories along which your sense of self has grown. 

It’s funny, because I just spent way too long looking for a place to finish this post - I wanted to give you numbered steps to follow and so much good advice - but literally everywhere I went with my laptop was closed or impossibly full of patrons. 

First I got annoyed. Then I got hangry. Then I tried two more coffee shops that were also completely jammed. I was starting to go totally insane and then…

I stopped. I was like, “Why is this happening to me? What am I not seeing?”

And all of a sudden I got the message, “You think you need to spend all this time and way more energy on this piece and be so damn thorough and say everything that has to be said. But… you’re probably being obsessive (as usual). You can probably, if you’re being real with yourself, just make the point you need to make and be done with it.”

I won’t bore you with all the buttons that were pushed, all the pressures and processes that were unravelled and challenged when my plans were thwarted and I was confronted with an opportunity to reflect on my motivations. I only want to draw your attention to the brief and beautiful space that was created by these seeming snafus.

Cuz that’s all you get. A little bit of time, a little bit of space when stuff is supposedly going wrong or breaking down. Even though retrograde lasts for 3 weeks with effects that are said to be felt for 3 weeks before and after (about 9 weeks total) this is a momentary opportunity, and one that will pass like quicksilver.

So how will you meet this retrograde?

You could flip out and lose your mind whenevs. You could knowingly chalk everything that happens that is annoying up to the retrograde. Or you could just stop.

When you feel like you’re losing your mind, just stop. Ask yourself “Why is this happening to me?” “What is Mercury telling me I need to look at?” “What can I rethink, reimagine or reexamine in this moment, right now?” “Which of my habitual signals is being jammed?” “How am I being?” “Is there another way?”

I’m hoping these questions will help you to cultivate some adaptability and ease: useful all the time, but especially in a retrograde. 

Also, try to remember that astrological cycles are nothing to freak out about. They’re neither plagues sent by God, nor new-age tests that you get graded on. PLENTY OF PEOPLE KNOW NOTHING ABOUT ASTROLOGY AND THEY’RE FINE. The cycles of astrology are there to give us context and guidance if we choose to read the signs, but keeping up with them is by no means obligatory (there’s new moons and jupiter retrogrades and all sorts of other stuff happening up there right now that we are not talking about. Do you lose at astrology or life because you don’t know everything right now? Heck naw!).

Retrograde will end and all this shit will supposedly go back to normal. Maybe we’ll think about what happened. Maybe we’ll think about how we think. Or maybe not. Learning and evolution will occur whether or not we’re focusing on it, but by bringing our attention to (and hopefully seizing) opportunities for growth, the pace and power of evolution quickens. All you gotta do is stop.

Funny, huh, that stopping can actually make things speed up? Not acting. Not reacting. Just stopping. Sometimes it seems like that’s the answer to everything.

Eat Schvitz (and cry?)

The holidays can be pretty rough on all your bodies: on the physical, with all the food and drink and travel; on the emotional, with all the people and relationships and drama; on the mental, with all the realizations and identifications that come up when we go home or reflect on the past and future; and on the spiritual, as we do our best to cultivate kindness and peace and joy in the midst of all the intensity of the season. 

It’s a lot. 

I wrote about how to navigate the holidays with balance and grace in THIS POST, and I hope it was useful. As we reach the crest of the holiday season and start sliding into the New Year I thought I’d use this space to suggest a few ways of dealing with the fallout, just in case you picked up a few pieces of shrapnel along the way

INTENTIONAL SCHVITZING

I’m terrible with physical cleanses and diets… not that I haven't tried any. I was on Atkins at age 14 and once did a master cleanse during Thanksgiving. I’m working every day to cultivate and sustain presence and balance and peace, but I’ve found that most physical cleanses result in the opposite. Even if the physical aspect of a cleanse delivers as promised, a too-intense regimen can leave your mental and emotional bodies just as toxic as your physical was before the whole ordeal began. Deprivation can create just as many undesirable effects as excess. 

For a milder cleansing that focuses on clearing and balancing your emotional and mental bodies I offer you the following practice for some delicious intentional schvitzing.

1. GET WET- Dry heat is supposed to good for relaxing muscles and releasing toxins but I much prefer steam. Water is the element that represents emotions, Air represents the mind, and the heat that makes the steam possible is associated with fire, or the transformative element of the Spirit. By breathing in steam you are metaphysically encouraging emotional and mental transformation.
    
2. PICK YOUR POISON- Find an awesome place to steam. Go fancy schmancy if you like, or seek out a place that doesn’t cost too much in ethnic neighborhoods with traditions of bathing culture. I love the Russian and Turkish Baths in New York and the many Korean Spa complexes in LA. There are also plenty of gyms and health clubs that have steam rooms. You can even do an OG Steam facial using a lovely heatproof bowl into which you pour a few cups of freshly boiled water and a few drops of essential oil. Wait a reasonable amount of time so that the steam is hot but not uncomfortable (be careful!). You can then put a towel over your head and the bowl and get to some deep breathing.
    
3. BE CLEAR - Steam has beneficial properties and feels really good, but the key to a deeper emotional cleanse (and a deeper just-about-everything) is INTENTION. What do you want to process? What do you want to clear? What do you want to learn? Some examples: “I want to cleanse and balance my mental and emotional bodies,” “I intend to release any emotional schmeckus that I internalized this holiday season,” or “I want to shed any skins that I’ve recently inhabited and emerge in a state of presence and authenticity.” If you are into essential oils, pick one that supports your intention - lavender for relaxation, bergamot for balancing, or grapefruit for energizing. Be clear about your intention, write it down or just say it over and over a few times in your mind. Then…
    
4. SET A DURATION - This is the time you will commit to allowing your intention to work itself out. It can be short or long: 10 deep breaths over the bowl, 5 minutes at the gym, or 4 hours in the Russian Banya. Whatever it is, be clear, be reasonable and stick to it. The clarity of your intention in combination with a clear duration sets you up so that your extra-dimensional support system can do their thing while you do yours.
    
5. BREATHE- All you have to do now is focus your attention. It’s the simplest and hardest part because now, change is ready to occur. Even though we’ve asked for the processing and/or release it can be freaky when it actually occurs. Whether you’re in doubt, overhwelmed, or perfectly poised, the cue is the same: FOCUS ON YOUR BREATH. As you inhale focus on welcoming change into your self along with the steam into your lungs. As you exhale let it all out and let it all go. You can also focus on a particular chakra, imagining breathing in and out through the energetic center. You can focus on breathing in white or bright light and breathing out grey or dark light. This also works well with the skin, imagining each of your pores as little mouths that can also breathe in the light and exhale the dark. If you like to focus on a mantra, do. It can be as simple as saying “In,” on the inhale and “Out,” on the exhale. A balanced breath is ideal here, so you could also count to 4 on the inhale and 4 on the exhale.

It sounds simple enough, but when all these parts are moving it can get pretty intense. This is why I love to focus on the duration and get a little OCD about it. When I do a steam bath at home I pick say, 4 rounds of 15 breaths. At the gym I’ll do 2 rounds of 10 minutes each in the steam. You'd think it’s easy, but watching your breath for 10 minutes straight in steam heat while breathing in light and exhaling dark can be challenging. You might want to give up, but if you stick to the combination of clear intention and balanced attention during the duration you’ve chosen, some kind of transformation will occur. You don't have to focus to the point of neurosis. Just set it all up and then breathe. What occurs may be obvious, or it may be subtle, but it will work on some level. In an intentional, vibrational existence, it’s simply gotta.

I hope you’ve had a glorious holiday and continue to do so. 

Love and blessings to you and yours,
MD

Healing Doesn't Have to be Scary

I recently posted an article about why healing doesn’t have to be weird HERE. 

As we approach the New Moon in Sagittarius, I want to take this opportunity to write about why it also doesn’t have to be Scary. 

Sagittarius is often categorized as the sign of spiritual practice, higher learning, and long-distance travel. In each of these cases we make a conscious choice to go beyond perceived limitations in order to understand the bigger picture: higher education crosses mental boundaries, long distance travel crosses physical boundaries, spiritual practice straight up dissolves all boundaries into unity.

All of these journeys require both the commitment and the blind faith/leap of going beyond oneself for the purpose of learning, insight and meaning. There is no guarantee of what will be on the other side, you don’t actually know that it will be worth the energy it takes to cross over, but that’s the point: it’s about going beyond what you know.

The bow and arrow carried by Sagittarius is a perfect symbol for this dynamic: You gotta aim true, line it up, stay as steady as possible, but ultimately you just let ‘er rip.

Release. That’s what I see people struggle with all the time. They’re constantly aiming, never letting go. In my healing practice I am pretty much always guiding people beyond, around or through their perceived limits. I work with every tool at my disposal to clarify the target, and can even assist in the aiming, but only you can take the shot. You don’t have to carry the arrow; you release the string and the arrow flies. Yet there are many of us (definitely myself included) who find themselves clinging to their bowstring when faced with the opportunity to go beyond. 

There’s usually some fear to be negotiated in the crossing of perceived limits: people generally don’t like going beyond themselves because they don’t know what’s on the other side. I get it. Some say this is a fear of death. Some say all fear is a fear of death. I think it’s just a fear of the unknown and all the power and potential that it contains. 

And yet, when we journey past the limits of ourselves we inevitably find something that we can identify with or recognize. This happens due to the law of correspondence, basically saying that if something exists in the microcosm, there is a corresponding existence in the macrocosm. One clear example of this is observed in the corresponding structures of atoms, solar systems, and galaxies.

That’s the secret of Sagittarius (and maybe all spiritual practice?): When we choose to go beyond ourselves we always seem to find ourselves. Enter Joseph Campbell, Dorothy and Oz, and every myth ever.

There is a moment that feels like we are diving into the unknown, leaving our orbit, risking the loss of everything we know and hold dear. And yet, no matter what is lost, YOU are still there, although now it’s a bigger you, a brighter you, a you that is amped up, turnt up, downright swole with love and awareness; You have become a more accurate you, a more thorough you, an unexpected, if sufficiently magnificent version of you that still just feels like lil ol’ you.

Typically, knowing and being this YOU feels really really good. Juicy, succulent, sweet and smooth. There is no experience of limitation, if only for an instant, and that freedom, in that moment, is very real. That is the arrow, flying.

All of this is to make a single distinction:

Breaking through the membrane of our limited self creates friction. The heat generated by this friction is necessary for change to occur. This friction may feel hard. It may seem terrifying. It may cause you to face your fear, all the fears, even the fear of annihilation and/or death.

But it doesn’t have to be scary.

You will greatly diminish the fear of surpassing your limitations by doing your best to remember that you cannot, ever lose your Self. No matter how far you go or how big you get there's always just more of your self to love. So don’t get bogged down with all the aiming. Chase the ease. Chase the flight. Chase the release into the unknown, knowing that wherever your arrow lands will be the sweet spot of your Self.

The new moon in Sagittarius, then, encourages us to set our sights sky-high and beyond; to aim for ideals too glorious to be conceivable; to believe, wholly, that anything is possible if only for the f— of it. You have every reason to aim as far and high as you can because YES! Wherever you go, there you are.

This is a great time to make big changes to your long term spiritual practice: to visit a sacred site, to study with a new teacher, or to start a new meditation practice. Make a commitment to do something that clarifies your faith in the magnitude of your being. Bet on the certainty of your limitlessness. No matter how far you go or how big you get there's always more to love.

With exponential love and incendiary light,

MD

Holiday Tips to Keep You Centered

Do you actually enjoy this time of year? Like, really? The outer expectations in terms of what we have to do or how we’re supposed to feel rarely line up with inner realities. This dissonance can leave many feeling a little left-or-right-of-center; a position which makes peace, joy and grace pretty much impossible to cultivate. It's like having all the lights set up on the house or tree and only sticking half the plug into the outlet.

Whether you feel like the season’s unofficial cheerleader or the furry-green antagonist of Who-ville, here is some EdibleSpirit™ guidance to help you survive and thrive during the remaining weeks of 2015.

1. Take back the time – This year’s Winter Solstice occurs at 11:48 PM EST on December 21st.  The sense of disconnection that so many feel at this time of year is partly caused by celebrating events around the Solstice instead of on the Solstice. While most of the holidays are scheduled based on some kind of obscure calendric calculation, the winter solstice is a visible, measurable phenomenon in the sky. It occurs at the moment the sun enters the zodiac sign of Capricorn and it marks the official beginning of Winter (in the Northern Hemisphere). You don’t need to be a boobie-bearing pagan ritualist to honor the moment, but in order to take advantage of this wonderfully energetic opportunity to pause and reflect… ya gotta do just that: PAUSE, and REFLECT. Wherever you may be, about 10 minutes before the solstice is exact - turn off the lights, turn off your phone, light a candle, and say something like “I (or we) now observe the winter solstice. I ask all of the most loving forces within me and me to draw close now, honoring the longest night of the year and the return of the light.”  Then watch the candle, think about or discuss the year that’s passed, make some notes in a journal, or meditate on the traits you are working to cultivate through the holidays. About 10 minutes after the solstice is over thank your self and the forces within and around you for the opportunity to pause, unplug and reflect. The profound alignment of this small meditation will greatly aid in offsetting any holiday negativity.
2. Honor the Feels - The holidays tend to call up a particular cluster of emotions that pendulum between peppermint-scented cheer and bloated resignation. All the while the pressure to be full of joy and gratitude looms overhead like a giant radioactive elf. We can get so caught up in what we’re supposed to be feeling or doing that we end up completely disconnected from what we’re actually feeling or doing. You will make the whole ordeal way easier on yourself by honoring how you feel when you feel it.  All you need to do is make that connection by calling it out as soon as things start to pop off- Just stop. Take a deep breath. That alone is a revolutionary act during the holidays. Now, be honest. Make a statement of presence. “I’m feeling x,” Once that baseline statement is made it can be adjusted: “I’d like to feel more y,” or “I’d like to feel less z.” Don’t worry about how you’re going to get there. The initial statement is what gets you centered in the present, and the adjustment equations are a great way of course correcting. 
3. Don’t Be a Jerk – Remember that we’re all feeling the feels at this time of year - so if there’s ever a time to not be a total dick, it’s now. Don’t worry about what button your relative is pushing, you don’t need to win and you definitely don’t have to engage. If you get caught up in the drama of what they’re doing or feeling you’re focusing on THEIR center instead of your own. The best way to combat someone else’s crazy is to rise above it (see Honor the Feels). If transcendence is challenging in the midst of Holiday Chaos I recommend following three questions which seem innocent, but actually contain negativity neutralizing thought-bombs. They are: “What are you grateful for?”, “Who or what do you miss?”, and “What are you excited about in the coming year?” The holiday season is at least partially about gratitude, nostalgia and hope; present, past, and future. It’s ok to reflect on all these things around the holidays. Often times we just need permission to take that space. 

Please remember that each and every one of us is a beacon of light for those we love and who love us. Staying true to you is the best way to be there for them. Secure your own oxygen mask before assisting your beloved’s. Safe travels and happy homecomings.

With love and retro-big-bulbed-x-mas light,
MD