To heal, or to desire to heal does not mean that you are, were, or will be less than your best self. It doesn't mean you are admitting weakness or defeat. There is no stigma. Anyone who makes you feel like something's wrong with you, or like you MUST heal, or like they have all the answers you need to get where you need to go... they are pretty much missing the point of everything.
Healing is a choice, YOUR choice, and you already have everything you need to do it.
I’m probably paraphrasing someone else when I say: "There is only one healing as there is only one trauma: the initial perception of separation from All that is.”
“All that is” refers to the unity of all being, the idea that everything is connected in totality. My practice is based on Spiritual healing, which treats “the Spirit” as the most immediately identifiable aspect of yourself which is always connected to everything else. As such, the spirit is ALWAYS whole, NEVER separate, basically PERFECT ALL THE TIME.
Therefore, there is always a part of you which is always whole, connected and perfect. If you feel disconnected from that part, it’s not because you are disconnected, IT’S STILL YOU! It’s not possible to be disconnected from yourself. It’s possible to believe (mentally) that you are disconnected, to feel (emotionally) disconnected, or to experience (physically) so much pain and suffering that the idea of connection and self and even healing seems impossible.
The reality is that there is always some part of yourself that remembers its full connection and identification with All that is. Some use this idea to say that Spiritual healing is all that matters. Heal the spirit and everything else becomes secondary. I don't agree with this.
I wouldn’t dare minimize the existence of physical, emotional or psychological trauma, I just see them as manifestations of a primary spiritual trauma - the perception of separateness from all that is. Just because the primary trauma is perceptual doesn’t mean its manifestations are any less traumatizing.
Problem is, dealing with the manifestations of trauma doesn’t necessarily deal with the source. When we get overly fixated on physical, emotional and psychological manifestations (things, feelings and beliefs) we can be glamoured into forgetting the validity of the spirit’s experience which always remembers that all is whole, connected and basically perfect. YOU are never separate from your Wholeness, but your perception can become so fixated on separateness that it starts to seem real and define your existence.
And that really really sucks. Separation - even if only perceptual - can change your life into a living hell. You forget who, what, or where you are, and healing isn't even on the table.
The good news is that every perception of separation contains the possibility to remember your essential wholeness. If you are always whole, then your perceptions of separation are always incorrect. Again, not invalid, just not accurate.
Healing, then, is the self-initiated decision to close the perceived distance between who you think you are and who you actually are, between who you feel you are and who you actually are, between the experience of fragmentation and the experience of wholeness which is already there.
You can do it on your own. You must CHOOSE to do it on your own, (this is why no one should tell you when it's time to start healing) but a skilled healer can make the process easier. They can help you navigate through perceptions of separation, backtracking along the breadcrumb trail of physical, emotional and psychological trauma, until you return to a conscious re-identification with the wholeness of your spirit and therefore Self.
The physical awareness anchors the experience in time and space.
The emotional awareness gives the experience a quality or character.
The mental awareness creates ideas, thoughts and beliefs about the experience and in so doing creates the potential for meaning and understanding.
The spiritual awareness is fully present for the whole experience.
It's kind of always, like, all totally super good.