Who's Your Mama?

When I say I work for the Mother, I know exactly what I mean… but it recently occurred to me that it might be worth explaining.

When I talk about the Mother, I am talking about the feminine aspect of All That Is.

You could call it the Goddess, but that smacks of nutritional yeast and tie-dye to me (btdubs I love the Goddess, and nutritional yeast and tie-dye, I just don’t love the way one little word can shut down a being’s entire processing system). The truth is that the words God and Goddess are two sides of the same coin - that unnameable, unspeakable, indescribable, inconceivable totality -  All That Is.

In this über-fluid year of 2016, I don’t like giving too much weight to gendered binaries. I just want to point out that Goddess and God are binary for a reason: so that we can discuss the larger infinitely unknowable umbrella term from which they descend - All That Is.

All That Is is kinda just that. All That Is. Bigger and more beyond the most distant reaches of beyond. Containing all things and within all things... like ALL of them, and then the rest of ALL of them.

So what is the Mother? For the sake of discussion let's go balls to the binary wall by asking:  What is the Father?

I think of the Father as the Male aspect of All That Is - the idea, the spark, the very form of our universe.

I think of the Mother as the Female aspect of All That Is - the expression, the flame, the very content of our universe.

Every culture has a binary like this - usually revealed through myth, folklore, or scripture. I particularly love the idea of Shiva and Shakti - both universal forces, both aspects of Brahman (All That Is), but Shiva respresents the universe in potential, in idea, in form, while Shakti is that same universe in action, in expression, in content. 

It can be argued that everything in existence can be organized by these polarities (yin/yang, light/dark, masc/fem) but remember! They are only referential headings which allow us to discuss that which is un-discussable.

One other idea: If the Father asserts that all of creation is contained within Him, then the Mother asserts that SHE is within all of creation. And let’s face it, she doesn’t have to assert it, she knows it’s true so she can just keep flowing. 

So that’s what I mean when I say I work for the Mother: I work on behalf of All That Is, in expression.

All the juiciest content out there in the world - from the most glorious constructions to the humblest piles of waste. The pretty flowers and the plastic bags. The fearless and the terrified. I wake up, every day, and I ask to be reminded of the light within all things and all beings. I ask to see only that.

I let others argue about God, and theories, and ideas. If I have to talk about something, I will most likely talk about the Mother. But before long I will most likely just I bury my face in the breast of creation (aka the Mother) and take care of myself as best I can (cuz mama said so) so that I can get deep into doing her work.

What is the work of the mother? It is in identifying, encouraging, and unleashing the power of All That Is in expression. First in myself, then in others. It's even become part of my pre-session schpiel - “I am here to work with you to find your path of least resistance - to help you discern who you actually are, and to give free reign to the dynamic expression of that truth within you. To build practices and understandings that support that truth. To clear away whatever is not aligned with that truth."

Because even though it’s all blessed as part of creation, sometimes there are feelings, beliefs, patterns and perspectives that are not of the present; that are borne from past traumas or future worries. But in the middle of it all the Mother is flowing through all things. I ask to see her presence in all things and all beings. I know she is just part of something bigger, and I am humbled to approach the wisdom from whence she comes.

If I've learned anything it is that the Mother loves to see us expressing ourselves, because SHE IS THAT EXPRESSION. So if you want to connect to the Mother, just do that. Be yourself. Express Yourself. She will relish your enjoyment of watching yourself flow through yourself and out into the world. Every time another Mother wave breaks, flowing from you into the world, She will be lit up in the hearts and minds and bodies of everyone that comes in contact with your expression.

Oh PS. She’s totally also just your mother. She’s all mothers. She’s everything nourishing and nurturing and delicious and comforting. She’s my mom, and my mom’s mom, and my grandma’s mom. So if you want to connect to the Mother, connect with your mother, or the most motherly place within yourself and just give a big thumbs up, like "way to go with expressing yourself Mother, thank you because that expression expressed me and my expression touches every drop of you in expression in all expression."

HEY! Maybe we can all make the biggest ever "World’s Best Mom" coffee cup for her out of all the shards of pain and sadness and loss and disconnection we have ever felt. I bet she’d like that: a giant arts and crafts project fusing together all the released misery of her children which could hold what… light? stars? Herself? Yeah. That’s it. While our Mother sits back and sips, it is highly likely that she will whisper through the cosmos: “I am in the liquid I drink. I am in the shards of pain that made this mug. I am in the impulse to create it and to give it back to me. And as I drink I give myself to you again. I will never tire of this giving. For I am in all giving. I am in all receiving. I am in all exchange. I am in you. I am in you. I am in you.”

Endless and Infinite Love and Light to All Mothers Everywhere,
and the Mother in All,
MD

Find Peace Through Baked Potato

Those who know me know I have a lot of energy running through me. Sometimes the energy has its way with me. Sometimes the energy makes me its bitch.

The past few years as I’ve been planting and nurturing the seeds that grew into EdibleSpirit, people would ask me “Don’t you get tired?” and I’m all, “Naaaaaahhhhh, I don’t get tired, I love this work, it energizes me, it makes me feel great. Sure I crash if I don’t take care of myself, but it’s cool.” And then I’d get a sidelong glance like “Okay (She crazy).”

I bottomed out once (not long ago), in late 2014, when I had to take some time off to recuperate from all my cosmic excursions. I had been going so hard, offering everything I could, saying yes to everything else, until I was overextended in a way I didn’t even understand. I had no idea what to do but pull the plug on all things mystical.

In this case it wasn’t just because I was exhausted. I had been so deeply invested in my mystical work and studies that I let all these other pieces of my self fall by the wayside. I was settling into a cozy routine of readings, healings, and teaching. I loved it… until I flipped out.

What had happened? Where was I? Where was the Mikey I used to know? So weird that after committing fully to this path I suddenly worried that I had abandoned myself. I was exhausted, but more importantly I was unhappy and uneasy. Certainly not peaceful.

I knew that if I didn’t feel my best, there was no way I could be holding space for others to feel their best. So I shut down for a hot minute. (Trust. I know that I am so dang blessed to have the luxury of shutting down.)

Problem was, I didn’t stop, I diversified. I picked up all the threads I let go of when I became a full-time healer. I pursued creative outlets that I had left by the wayside. I challenged myself. I did as much as I had ever done and added a few new things to the list. I even came up with the idea behind EdibleSpirit - to go hard into the ether, then bring it back to earth... I just didn’t rest.

The trippy thing is, I didn’t even know I wasn’t resting. I didn’t know I wasn’t recuperating. I thought I was going for peace. I was chasing peace. I was running like mad in search of something, anything, that would still my turbulent waters.

And then some extra craziness unfurled -  family stuff, relationship stuff, work stuff, health stuff, personal, existential, and spiritual stuff. I am supposed to be the one who understands and can handle this stunning array of stuff. And I did handle it all. I took myself to task on the daily, making sure I was acting, being, and thinking with as much integrity as I could muster. I just didn’t rest. And I certainly didn’t find peace. I didn’t stop.

What stands out to me in this whole narrative (and the thing I have the MOST compassion for in others) is that when you don’t know YOU DON’T KNOW. If it’s unconscious, it’s because you're NOT CONSCIOUS of it. And there’s just so much. The pace is so fast. The news is so sad. So many generational, national, and global promises have been broken. There’s so much pain. How can we know everything we need to know, all the time, and still live our lives? And be happy? And find peace? Gawrsh.

I don’t love New Year resolutions. I think they come at an awful time when we’re all bloated and depressed from the insanity of the holidays. Worst time ever to make big life changes. So much pressure. So little will to stay resolved.

So I tend to focus on the Spring Equinox (which JUST passed) as the astrological new year. It’s the best time for starting new projects, and even making resolutions… but years ago a beloved teacher encouraged me to use it as the time to make a list of desires and intentions and to go through several practices for manifesting them. 

I have long been working with making wanting acceptable, allowing free desire in me and around me. So I work on wanting through making that list of intentions and manifestations every spring Equinox. Then I use every practice I have learned to clear the way for them.

This year has been different. When January came I had an urge to make a resolution. I said “I want peace. Now.” I kept it that simple. Peace. Peace. Peace. I was patting myself on the back for what an awesome resolution Peace was. I knew it would be hard. That’s why it was awesome! 

Peace is a state of calm, quiet, and stillness… a state of non-violence, no war. And yet the world is still going on. So peace implies a state that occurs DESPITE all the other forces before, after, and around it.  It’s peace, despite any and all chaos. 

I thought that was a very EdibleSpirit intention - something so lofty and idealistic which also factors in the annoying stimuli of everyday existence. I thought the keyword would give me somewhere to go no matter what got thrown at me. If I could stay peaceful through everything, I would probably grow and get stuff I want also! 

It also sounded great: Peace, man. Not wanting. Not criticizing. Not giving anything up. Just peace.

I have to admit - I’ve been so engaged with this intention that I have become a bit testy - a little hermit-like… Baaaahhhh don’t disturb my quest for peace! If you’re not FOR my peace, you're AGAINST IT! Baaaahhhh. I found some peace at first, but then I think I started fighting for my peace. Things started to feel very black and white, super intense, and a little creaky.

And then the equinox came. I went to write my list of desired manifestations… and I had nothing. I really didn’t want anything. Except… wait for it… peace.

So I did my practice. I asked for peace. I begged for peace. Show me peace, help me cultivate peace, help me find peace. Lead me to peace, guide me to peace. I desire to manifest peace.

And then I heard a voice in my head. “I am peace”

Boom. Big Oprah Ugly Cry.

It’s right there? It’s been there all along? How could you find it anywhere else Mikey? Why have you been looking so hard. 

Trust, it wasn’t world peace. It felt like a teeny tiny little drop of peace in an ocean of crazy. But it was mine. It was ME. It was a place to start, a place to come from, a place to go back to. A pre-existing and prevailing peace.

I see now that my previous states of crap-out fall-down pull-the-plug I-need-to-rest had come from searching high and low and up and down for this thing, which was already in me…

But I was so amped up by the journey! So damned certain it was going to come from somewhere else that I couldn’t calm down for long enough to let this peace that I am consume me. I probably should have done what my BFF calls “Going Baked Potato”- wrapping yourself in all the blankets and vegetating until you can breathe again - but I didn’t. I kept probing for peace.

And there it was. Here I am. It’s yours too. 

Peace is inside of you. Everything you need is inside of you. But we are so turned outward, so dang often, so certain that the answer is out there, that we can’t hear the voice that’s been gently cooing the answer all along. 

Shhhhhh! We say. GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO. Until you have no choice but to baked potato. 

But who can baked potato these days? Where is the time? Sometimes I think flus and strep and colds and sinus crap is just cosmically enforced baked potato.

I’m offering this practice for you to find peace, now, via baked potato state, without having to crash and/or hit a wall.

Momentary Baked Potato Practice:

1. Pretend your hands are tinfoil. Pretend your face is a potato. Wrap your face in your foil hands. Whisper, "Shhhhh, shhhhh, shhhh. I am peace. I am peace. I am full of peace." Feel your face baking with love, acceptance, and encouragement from your self and your hands.

2. Then move your hands to your heart. Imagine your heart is a potato. Whisper "Shhhhh, shhhhh, shhhhh, I am peace, I am peace, I am full of peace." Feel your heart getting warmer and warmer with love, acceptance and encouragement from yourself.

3. Now move your hands to your belly. Imagine your belly is a potato. Gather your whole potato belly in your hands (or if you don’t have a belly just gently fold the hands over the area just below your navel) and whisper "Shhhhhh, shhhhh, shhhhh. I am peace. I am peace. I am full of peace." Feel your belly get warmer with love, acceptance and encouragement from yourself.

4. Imagine your whole body is a giant potato. Imagine your big potato body wrapped in foil. Feel the love, acceptance and encouragement in there. Feel your whole body baking in it, getting warmer and warmer. Say "Shhhhhh, shhhhh, shhhhh, I am peace, I am peace, I am full of peace."

5. Now imagine a big, beautiful set of cosmic hands opening your foil and digging into the potato of your self. The steam that is released is peace. The potato is peace. The butter and sour cream and chives are peace. Let the pre-existing peace within you emerge. Let it prevail. One more time “I am peace, I am peace, I am peace.”

Love and e-z baked light,
MD

How Deep Is Your Love?

If you think you are unworthy, undeserving or unlovable, I’m sorry, but you are wrong.

And you’re not just a little wrong, or occasionally wrong. You’re fundamentally wrong.

Even if you believe you are born inherently bad, even if you can prove it, you’re still wrong. The good, the bad, the holy, the evil, all of it, ALL OF IT is inherently lovable.

I’ve made it my job to see and adore the most lovable aspects of every person I meet. I’ve always done it (usually without knowing it). I think I may even be born to do it. I'm like a truffle pig who has a knack for finding the biggest buried ‘shroom or the one kid in a family who always skims the cream off the top or manages to find the crispiest bits on every roast. I relish this opportunity every time I’m faced with it.

When it’s challenging, I like it even more. It’s never actually harder - the most lovable bits are always right there - but it can take a moment longer to agree on the best parts of a person if they are deeply buried or intricately obscured. We then have to investigate, to unearth, to spelunk, to discover… We get to go down dark hallways of doubt and despair and open doors to rooms full of warmth and brightness. Without exception, the rooms are there.

I really love finding the lovable in everyone and everything… until I am confronted with myself.

It’s harder when there’s only one - one to be the detective, the cheerleader, the cartographer, the spelunker. It requires solo-digging, often in pitch dark with emotional bats and psychological creepy crawlies flying at your face, covering your arms, doing their darnedest to convince you to turn back, walk away, and give up the search. 

Fortunately there is an entire army of invisible forces around you (and within you) that are exclusively interested in helping you track down the most deliciously lovable aspects of your being. Even when something awful, tragic, or excruciating occurs, these same forces are at the ready to nudge you in the direction of that within you which is eternally and eminently lovable.

The thing I want to remind you of, again, is that no matter what you think or say or do, that essentially lovable part of yourself is always there. There’s nothing wrong with you. There’s only the inaccuracy of your perception or the stubbornness of your certainty - You are wrong but you don’t know it, or you know you’re wrong but insist upon your rightness.

Why does it have to be a struggle? Why don’t you just give in to the love? I don’t even care if it makes you feel good, I’m just saying it makes no sense to resist! Why struggle to convince yourself that you are anything other than the best parts of yourself? Why not seize on every bit of nasty, corner it, and shake your finger in its face saying “Hold up there you little asshole, YOU are the one that’s wrong. I don’t need any back talk or negotiation, you’re WRONG! GIVE IT UP!”

How to neutralize the fight? How to make it a dance instead of a struggle? You don’t have to be cling to your lovable self 24/7. You don’t even have to believe it’s true. Just make the choice to look for the love instead of the un-love. Seize the love first. Then when you are confronted by the non-love seize that too! Love it and dive deeply with it until! Make it your co-conspirator, summon the strength, mystically massage it with your care and attention until it is transformed by your sheer endurance and persistence. “I know it is there. I know I am that. If I can just hold on, long enough, with that certainty, I know I will find it, I know that it will reveal itself to me.

Maybe that’s the biggest conspiracy of all: The most lovable part of yourself is running the show. Summoning YOU as co-conspirator to facilitate the hostil (loving) takeover of your whole existence. This most lovable part of your self wants nothing more than to dance a slow, sensuous, vintage burlesque style strip tease for you and everyone you love. “Watch me, watch me, now you think you don’t see me, now I seem obscured, but I will emerge, I will make my true self known. I will give myself to you completely, you need only look my way.”

If the most lovable parts of you are actually working full time to make themselves known, HOW MUCH EFFORT you must be putting into keeping them obscured!

Every moment, every exchange, every relationship or job or romantic partner, every thing you do, say, or see, is presenting you with a neutral choice - look for the love or don’t look for it. Spend your energy on finding compassion, acceptance, forgiveness, or don’t. 

Just remember, every choice you make, every action you take, every single thought you have sounds a tone. Every tone can contribute to a glorious song of compassion, acceptance, forgiveness, trust and love; or it can clang in chaos, discord and disconnection. The more you clang the more you hear the clanging. The more you sing the more the symphony crescendoes. 

No pressure. You don’t have to do anything or sustain anything. Not right now. It’s about a question, an opportunity, every time: Harmony or discord? Which do you choose? Don't cling to the choice, there's another opportunity coming. But why wait?

And there’s really no right answer… Even the gnarliest of noise-music has something lovable in it, you just have to learn to listen. 

With love and light from the depths of my most silent spaces,
MD

A Question of Commitment

What are you committed to? What do you give yourself to? What is your service? What is your purpose?

Asking these (BIG) questions is really fun for me, mostly because I have been so dang blessed to see people actually come up with answers in our sessions and workshops.

A lot of people don't even let themselves ask the question.

I am committing myself to love these days. To love itself, but also to WHAT I love.

I’m talking a whole lot about love these days too. Unabashedly. It used to be abashedly, I would think "Gee Mikey that sounds so pat - it can't really all be about love..." And maybe it isn't, maybe it is also about pain and suffering and misery and all that. 

But I'm pretty sure love is all there is/all you need/all we really have.

I’d leave it at that if I could. I’ve learned though, that I need something a leeeeetle bit more tangible, that I can sink my teeth into.

What you love is what matters to you. What you love is what you want to work for. What you love is what you are committed to.

That’s wicked tangible right? Except sometimes we commit to working for something that doesn’t matter to us at ALL. Sometimes we have no choice but to do so… even if only to make rent. And yet, I am convinced that it is always possible to put the cart before the horse - to make sure that even if you are not working on what you love, you are always working FOR what you love. Working IN THE NAME of what you love.

So in that way, Love is a wholly authentic, completely intangible priority.

Love is the only thing that inspires me to commit to anything. I may have to do something I don't want to do - work on something I don't want to work on - in order to open a path to work that is in line with what I love, but if I lose track of that love, I feel like I lose track of everything.

For some reason if you're not a milennial, the idea of only working for what you love seems like a luxury. But it's not. I frequently see people whose lives are in atrophy over complete commitment to something that means NOTHING to them, that doesn't matter, that they don't love.

I'm not saying you don't have to do what you have to do, but I am saying there is no point in being committed to anything if it's not at least aligned with something or someone you love.

But in this era - when most of us are trying to create our selves while simultaneously broadcasting the perfectly captured selfie of that creation, it's so easy to forget what you love, who you are, and all of your priorities.

I really think all this spiritual stuff is just a process of figuring out your authentic, intangible priorities, what you love, and then rearranging your existence and adjusting your choices bit by bit to affirm those priorities until the world around you matches the world inside you as closely as possible. Even if it takes your entire life, it’s very very worth it.

Fortunately there is an entire hierarchy of entities and energies that are TOTALLY COMMITTED to helping you discover who you are and what you love as QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE!!! Because they and we know that this world needs us, and our light, and our love, like soon badly.

I believe we can all access those energies and entities on our own, but it helps to have help.

In the early stages of working with clients it's super simple: We turn to our extra-dimensional team in order to receive insight and reflections about who you really are and what really matters to you. We don't jam it down your throat, we offer it up, and if it vibes it vibes, and then everything is able to change.

But it all starts with those questions: Who are you? What are you committed to? What do you give yourself to?

When those questions start getting answered, new choices can be made about what you are committing yourself to. If those choices are more in line with your true self, you save so much energy, and that energy builds up until you have more than enough to share... Then it's about how do you want to give it away? How do you want to commit the surplus of love you've unleashed through your realigned priorities!?!?!?!?!?

Ugh, it's so awesome.

Right now I am clinging to what I love. Humping it gently, and probably crying a little while doing it, cuz I'm emo like that. It's intangible sometimes, but I know I'm doing it right when I feel good. The moment I disconnect from what I love, I feel physical pain in my body. I feel like I'm abandoning myself and my priorities. It hurts. And it’s not worth it. The love is still there, but the commitment has abated.

My wish for you (and dang man, for me too) is that you remain as fully committed to what you love as is humanly and divinely possible.

It’s so possible. And it's worth it.

I love you,
MD

This and That, Here and There

In my recent travels I remembered something that is at the core of the EdibleSpirit ethos: 

Living a “Spiritual” life needn’t be more than a 50/50 proposition.

Said another way: You DO NOT have to give 100% of yourself to Spiritual practice.

First, because Spiritual practice is totally optional. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.

Second, most of us are already investing all of our time and energy in our Earth practice, and many of us pride ourselves on giving 150% all the time. But dude, 100% is all you actually have available to give. If you're already terrestrially challenged, trying to give what time and energy you have left to your Spiritual practice presents a pressure to sustain a pace that can make people turn away from any practice at all.

Sometimes it seems like Spiritual practice can disconnect you from your Earth practice, because whatever’s going on “over there” is so much better and more desirable than the stuff that’s happening right here. Plenty of philosophies have this hierarchy woven into their doctrine. It leads to spaciness and new-age weirdo-ness, or in extreme cases a kind of peace and love fundamentalism that is really just criticism obscured by conscious-sounding vocabulary.

Problem is, dabbling is just as unsustainable. It can foster a lack of respect and knowledge of the forces you’re working with and can get people involved in situations that are too intense too soon. This can lead to energetic experiences that are unhealthy or even dangerous. 

Dabbling also encourages turning to your Spiritual practice only in times of crisis, without building up the fortitude and endurance that comes through repetitive practice. This makes it hard to access your truth when you need it most.

But again, I’m not calling for 100%. 50 will do just fine. 50 is actually a lot! But it’s worth it.

50% is what I suggest as the minimum investment that will yield sustainable returns. I see people all the time who put zero energy into their practice and still expect it to yield results. It doesn't have to be more, but it probably shouldn't be too much less.

Sometimes I give people homework during a private session (it’s actually not me, it’s the extra dimensional forces within and around us - guides, guardians, or your higher self) for a practice that will cause, support, or sustain a desired change. Rarely do I suggest more than 20 minutes of anything at a time. Usually it’s 5-10 minutes of something every day. When people come back going “Why didn’t this thing change?” It’s usually simple: did you do the stuff that was suggested? “No.” Well? Did you do just half of what was suggested? “No.” So…

Why would expect anything to change? Without focus, and intention, and attention, (some basic components of Spiritual practice) you will be hard pressed to summon and sustain the fire of will which causes Spiritual transformation to occur.

I get it though - It's hard to find ways to prioritize your practice, it's easy to let it go. What I'm pointing out is that this is due to an implicit all-or-nothing approach to this spiritual stuff.  I don't think people should be cheated out of the benefits of Spiritual practice just because they don't want to become a monk; but it's also important to remember that you will reap what you sow.  And that’s why I created EdibleSpirit - to affirm that it is possible, ESPECIALLY in this day and age, to find a sustainable balance between the divine and mundane, the celestial and the terrestrial, the EDIBLE and the SPIRIT. 

And heyo, nobody’s keeping score, so don’t overthink “What does 50% mean?” All I'm suggesting is that it’s more than 0 and less than 100 - somewhere right in the middle.

At the core of what I'm saying is a reminder:

We are not on the other side. We are not in our light bodies (not yet). We are HERE. In human form. Having lives, relationships, working, loving, and doing our best to express our truth, understand as much as possible, and hopefully find some sense of peace, purpose and maybe just maybe a connection to infinite hope, possibility and illumination.

But all that happens here, on Earth. and we don’t have that long to experience it happening. It's worth it to put work in on the other side, and on the inner and invisible planes... just remember that the rewards of that work are to benefit you here and now. No postponement of enjoyment. Work hard (50%) then do nothing (50%). Study, meditate, practice (50%) live, love, laugh (50%). DO your Spiritual Practice (50%), then just BE (50%).

There may be times you want to give more, there may be times that more seems to be required of you, but I am offering these words to affirm that your practice need not take you away from yourself and the world. I’m not trying to go over there to get away from here. I’m trying to go there, get that good-good, then bring it back and use it to improve the experience of all beings everywhere without exception until a complete divinisation of the physical plane has occurred.

One of my favorite Masters, Sri Aurobindo, says it way better.

“Matter itself cannot be the original and ultimate reality. At the same time the view that divorces Matter and Spirit and puts them as opposites is unacceptable; Matter is a form of Spirit, a habitation of Spirit, and here in Matter itself there can be a realisation of Spirit.”